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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27114721">A Reason to Stay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/qualitygarbage/pseuds/qualitygarbage'>qualitygarbage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Small Town, Anorexia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:22:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27114721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/qualitygarbage/pseuds/qualitygarbage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This story follows Kenma Kozume post discharge from the hospital after his suicide attempt. He moves in with his older cousin, Kuroo, and starts his new life on the countryside. Through getting to know the residents and their lives, Kenma discovers his own reasons to keep on going.</p><p>I'm trying to avoid tag hell, so tags will be added as they appear. There are some heavy themes, but the fic is mostly wholesome and should be safe for the most part, but use your best judgement!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu &amp; Miya Osamu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello thank you for checking out my fic! This is my first for this fandom! Tags will be added as we go because I am trying to avoid Tag Hell as much as possible. For example, Semi is in this chapter, but he's not tagged as he's only in one scene and I'm not confident he will make a reappearance.</p><p>The main ship is Hinata/Kenma, but as of now, it may be able to be viewed as either romantic or platonic. Established background relationships are Lev/Yaku and Bokuto/Akaashi; both of which will appear within the next chapter.</p><p>I am also experimenting with posting chapters as I write. I normally always write all (or mostly all) the chapters and post them on a schedule, but I'm trying something new here. Mostly because I was so excited about this fic lol! I would appreciate encouragement to help me stay excited so I can see this project through to the end!</p><p>Thank you for reading my rambling! Please enjoy the fic!!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Story preface. Kenma is picked up from the hospital and begins his new life on the countryside with his cousin. He meets Hinata, a local neighborhood kid, and from that moment knows his life will never be the same.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kenma pushed his head into the cool glass of the backseat window. He shifted uncomfortably; it had been a long time since he wore a seatbelt. Although he sat calm and quiet, his mind was overworking itself. <em>How quickly could he execute a new plan? Would he be able to go shopping by himself to get supplies? How nosy does Kuroo plan to be?</em> At least one of his questions were answered instantaneously.</p><p>“Do you like this song?” Kuroo asked, cutting into his younger cousin’s thoughts, “It’s new, but already one of my favorites!”</p><p>Kenma didn’t offer the man any form of acknowledgement. He did not like the song. Who in their right mind genuinely enjoys Eurobeat?</p><p>Clearly, Kuroo didn’t find the lack of response discouraging. “Nobody out here appreciates this genre. A crying shame I tell you!” he shook his fist in the air dramatically. “You probably have much more musically inclined folk living in Tokyo, right?”</p><p>Again, Kenma showed no sign of response. He wouldn’t know about the music taste of those around him. That would require being social.</p><p>“Anyway kid,” Kuroo turned down the volume as he moved onto his next point. “I feel like I should apologize for not reaching out to you more often. So here it is, my apology.” He scratched his head uncomfortably.</p><p>Kenma had to roll his eyes at that. <em>Typical. People don’t care unless you make them feel guilty.</em></p><p>“But you probably don’t care much for apologies, huh?” Kuroo exhaled sharply before continuing. “The suburbs are quite different from your fancy schmancy Tokyo. We don’t have as much transportation here, but I will be driving you to uh…” he trailed off as he tried to find the best word choice, “Your day programs.”</p><p>The boy clutched at the fabric of his sweatpants. Partial hospitalization program. PHP is what Kuroo was getting at. Kenma didn’t care enough to have an opinion on the euphemism.</p><p>“I have a bike in the garage. Consider it yours for the time being.” He flashed a smile at Kenma through the review mirror. “If you need a ride, don’t be afraid to ask. But I figure you might want a vehicle for independence.”</p><p>A second eye roll. Independence was a thing of the past for him. That was the reason for him being shipped out here anyway. Apparently, Tokyo was too 'stimulating' for him–too easy to fade into the background. And with his parents being away for work most of the time, he was forced to move out of the independent bustle of city life and into the podunk with his older cousin who worked from home. He’d be lucky enough just to be able to shower by himself.</p><p>“I see a lot of kids around your age who play around outside in this area, so you’ll have plenty of friends to pick from. Oh!” Kuroo took a quick glance at his passenger. The look in his eyes screamed 'Big News'. “On Sunday evenings the whole town gets together to play volleyball. An old mayor started it a while back–decades ago–and it still holds to this day.” He shrugged, turning into a residential drive, “You probably find it lame, but it’s a huge part of our culture here.”</p><p>Kenma blinked. Who cares so much about a dumb, sweaty sport to meet up for it every week? He was honestly a bit surprised at how reverent Kuroo spoke about the gathering.</p><p>There wasn’t much distance left to cover, but the two sat in silence for the rest of the way to Kuroo's home. Or near-silence, save for the trashy bass of Eurobeat.</p><p>“Buddy, my pal!” Kuroo threw his arm behind the passenger seat and twisted his body to the boy behind him. “Welcome to chateau au Kuroo! Your home away from home!” he closed his eyes as he beamed.</p><p>Even if he wanted to run, Kenma was prisoner to the car's child safety lock. He rested his head on his hand and turned his gaze away, escaping mentally. <em>More like hell away from hell.</em></p><p>Once inside the house, Kenma became subject to a house tour. It wasn’t anything flashy. Two-bedroom, one bath, ranch style home with an indoor garage. The quaint home matched the town, but not the owner. If Kenma cared, he’d ask what his cousin was doing living in such a homely area. Based on his eccentric style and personality, Kenma assumed he would find a gaudy district in Tokyo more fitting.</p><p>“And this is your room!” As soon as Kuroo held the door open, Kenma scurried past him and plopped himself down on the cot bed. Kuroo chuckled to himself as he crossed over to the boy bouncing himself lightly on the bed. “Just got this bad boy the other day!” he closed his eyes as he stroked at his chin. “As soon as I learned I was gonna be your legal guardian for the time being, I thought 'nobody puts baby on the floor' and I knew I needed to get you something more comfortable to unwind on. But if you’re craving a more authentic experience, the roll out futon is in the linen closet I showed you earlier.” When he opened his eyes again, he saw his guest had grabbed the photograph from the nightstand.</p><p>“Where’s the cat?”</p><p>Kuroo widened his eyes at the first words from the boy since he picked him up from the hospital. But the expression of surprise was quickly replaced with an anxious frown. “Oh, uh Missy… the cat… she got old and…” He recoiled at the pure hurt in the boy's eyes. It was the first genuine expression he saw Kenma make, and unfortunately it had to be pain.</p><p>Signing, Kuroo moved to sit down next to his cousin. “I really loved Missy–I still do. I remember when I first brought her home as a kitten. I was still a kid living at home then, and my mom was livid because our landlord said no pets. But we hid her for years, and she helped me through a lot.” He took a small pause and rubbed at the choppy-short hair just above the nape of his neck. “When she passed, I never saw myself adopting another cat. I didn’t want to feel like I was replacing her.”</p><p>Kenma jumped at the sudden pat on the back. He didn’t notice how his throat prickled until the slap on his shoulder grounded him back to earth. His eyes shied their way to Kuroo’s warm grin.</p><p>“But I’ve learned that no matter how many cats I have, none of them could ever touch the experiences that Missy gave me. The impact she made on my life is locked in time.” He clutched the fabric over his heart and beamed back at Kenma. “She’s locked in my heart.”</p><p>Kenma watched, with a wink of awe, as Kuroo stood up and folded his arms.</p><p>“The district shelter is actually really close to my house. You could get there by bike in less than twenty minutes. So how about this,” he made a loud, resonating clap, securing Kenma's entire attention. “How about I make that your dues? In exchange for a relaxing getaway on the countryside, you select me the perfect new furry friend in return?” He flashed a toothy smile before turning to the window. “The shelter lets you visit and play with the animals or volunteer as much as you want without any expectations. So how about it? Can you do that favor for me?”</p><p>Kenma flushed. He trained his eyes on his fiddling fingers.</p><p>“Y-yeah…” Kenma bit his lip, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt as a spoke. He felt his brain deliver a sharp kick to his mouth for the reply.</p><p>Kuroo leaned forward to Kenma’s seated height. He smiled warmly into his cousin’s eyes. “Thank you, Kenma. I appreciate you agreeing to do this for me.”</p><p>The boy tucked his head down into his chest, the bleached strands covering his face as he mumbled an inaudible “it’s nothing” beneath his breath.</p><p>“And with that settled,” Kuroo straightened himself back up and turned towards the door. “I’ll start working on dinner. Feel free to take a stroll and get aquatinted with your new surroundings.” Kuroo had paced himself to the exit but paused once he reached the doorway. “Be home by five, okay?”</p><p>Kenma remained unresponsive until he heard his cousin’s footsteps round the corner down the hall.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck!</em>
</p><p>He threw himself back onto the bed, slamming the heels of his palms into his eyes. <em>Fuck, fuck, fuck!</em> He broke one of his self imposed ‘laws’. Even if he forgave himself for speaking–not a hard law, but something he advised himself against–he slipped up and made a <em>promise</em>. Making a promise is a binding action. It negates closure and leaves him feeling like he still has unfinished business. But worst of all, promises connect people. He needs to detach. He needs to let go, fade away, burn out unnoticed.</p><p>Scowling to himself, Kenma rolled on his side, eyeing the photograph of Missy with venom. He had two choices: leave the promise unfulfilled and let his conscience deal with it as he continued executing a new plan or fulfil the promise and draw a bond between him and Kuroo.</p><p>Neither sounded particularly appetizing. Either way, the promise had already been made and the binding nature of it has already completed. Might as well not worry himself with following through; it would require more effort than he cared to give.</p><p>Laying still on the bed with the regret stirring inside caused him to quickly grow restless. He craned his neck up to eye the clock on the nightstand. Seeing it was about a quarter to three, he decided to make use of Kuroo’s suggestion and get aquatinted with the neighborhood. Kenma pulled himself up and mentally confirmed to himself that he was not doing this because he cared about Kuroo’s advice, but because he needed to fatigue his mind. Besides, he thought to himself as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, he would need to know the layout of his environment when it comes time to craft and execute a new plan.</p><p>“You wouldn’t believe it man!”</p><p>Kenma ducked behind the wall, the booming voice of his cousin catching him off guard.</p><p>“He’s absolutely adorable! I wouldn’t have been such a lame kid if I looked as cool as him growing up!”</p><p>The boy slapped a hand over his mouth as he flushed. Cute? Kenma shook his head. Adults always think their younger relatives are cute. But why did Kuroo call himself lame as a kid? Kenma sighed to himself and decided it was best not to worry about these things. Kuroo probably had insane standards for being considered not-lame. He continued towards the door, overhearing an unclear but high energy voice on the other end of the speaker phone.</p><p>“Dinner tomorrow might be better. I don’t want him to feel overwhelmed.”</p><p>Kenma cringed as he closed the door behind him, finally outside. <em>So Kuroo was inviting company</em>. Kenma rolled his shoulders as he began towards the sidewalk. <em>Guess this 'relaxing' getaway was going to be much more draining than he imagined.</em></p><p>Right when Kenma believed he had caught a break, a shrill childish cry broke through the quiet summer ambience. Across the street, Kenma saw two orange haired children, the boy being about his age, facing off with two older kids.</p><p>Everything inside of him told his body to keep walking. This was none of his business, and nobody seemed to even notice his presence, but the moment the ginger headed boy spoke up, Kenma found himself glued to the scene.</p><p>“She said you’re not funny! Stop scaring her!” The boy held the sobbing girl close to his chest. He was so small, but Kenma found himself drawn in by the boy’s unwavering voice and powerful offensive stance. <em>Was this tiny kid really going to try and fight those two bullies on his own?</em></p><p>One of the older kids, a boy with spiked up red hair and an unsettling smile, offered nothing other than snark laughter. He jumped in front of the girl suddenly and flipped around into a backbend. “Oh, but I’m practicing!” He sneered in her face, “I’m training to be a clown, so I won’t stop until she laughs!”</p><p>“Kyaa!” The young girl buried her face into her protector’s shirt.</p><p>“I told you to knock it off!” he held the girl tighter and bared his teeth.</p><p>The other bully shoved his hands in his pockets, taking slow strides closer to the others as he spoke in a venomous, uninterested draw. “Tendou here takes his training very seriously. I can only see this ending one of two ways.” He leaned forward into the little boy’s face with his scowl unwavering. “You can either let Tendou keep practicing until he graduates clown school, or…” The silver haired bully leaned down to the boy’s height and flicked between his eyebrows. “If you give me some <em>compensation</em>, I may be able to talk him into a new career path.”</p><p>The boy rubbed his forehead with a clenched fist. Kenma watched from afar as the fire within the boy slowly began to diminish. He doesn’t know why, but it made his heart drop when he saw the ginger boy give in.</p><p>“Just…” He spoke finally, his voice lacking the initial edge. “Just promise me you’ll leave Natsu alone.”</p><p>“Aww! What’s this?” The redhead, identified as Tendou, flipped back around upright. “You don’t want to see my act anymore? How rude!”</p><p>Expression unchanging, the silver headed boy held his palm out expectantly.</p><p>The ginger boy dug through his pocked and shoved some change and crumpled bills into his hand, avoiding eye contact as he did so.</p><p>Clearly unpleased, the bully only cocked his head up in response. “Is this all you got?” He lunged forward, suddenly switching into rage. “You think I’m just playing with you!?” He shouted directly into the boy’s face. “I’m tired of waiting! Cough it up before I shake it out!”</p><p>“Ooh!” Tendou squirmed with twisted glee. “I wanna shake him! Let me grab him by the ankles Semi-san!”</p><p>“Onii-chan…” The little girl pleaded quietly with her brother. It wasn’t visible from the side of the bullies, but Kenma saw her reach for the little toy purse slung across her body. The boy grabbed her hand and shook his head sternly but subtly.</p><p>“Here.” He dug through the remainder of his pocket and flipped it inside out for the bullies to see. “Leave Natsu alone now. She’s just a kid.”</p><p>Semi counted his spoils as he spoke, temper dissipated. “Life’s tough kid. Better she learn it earlier than later.” He turned his back to the orange hair duo, Tendou twirling and skipping after him. He tossed a final line over his shoulder. “Consider this payment for her lessons.”</p><p>Tendou gave an eerie smile back to them. “Ciao-ciao, Chibi-chan!” He teased, following Semi out of the scene.</p><p>With the bullies gone, Natsu’s fear quiet transformed into loud sobs of anguish. “Onii-chan!” She cried out as fat blobs of tears flowed endlessly from her eyes. “I’m sorry, onii-chan!”</p><p>Her brother gripped her tightly, rocking back and forth. “Please don’t cry, Natsu! They’re gone now.”</p><p>To Kenma’s surprise, Natsu tore away. She glared up at her older brother with soaked cheeks. “It’s because of me that onii-chan had to give his allowance! Because I’m a scaredy-baby!”</p><p>“Natsu…” The boy looked crushed. He pleaded to his sister with open arms. “That’s not true. You didn’t do anything wrong.”</p><p>She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her clenched fist. “I don’t want onii-chan to have protect me anymore!”</p><p>“Natsu—!” He outstretched his arms to her, but the girl took off running instead.</p><p>Kenma felt his heart drop when the boy fell apart once he thought he was finally alone. He buried his face in his hands, shoulders and chest heaving and shaking with sobs.</p><p><em>This is not your problem. Not your problem. Just continue on your way</em>. Kenma’s brain pleaded with his body which seemed to be moving on autopilot. He continued stepping closer until the crunching of the grass beneath him alerted the boy of his presence. They made eye contact for a few short seconds until Kenma shied away from the incredulous, soaked expression on his face. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweats, he rocked on his heels nervously.</p><p>“Let’s go look for her.”</p><p>The boy’s eyes widened like saucers as they shone up at the newcomer. He wiped aggressively at his face before looking down in shame. “Yeah…”</p><p>Kenma bit his lip at the reaction. He outstretched his hand to the boy who was still perched on his knees. He watched the kid’s apprehensive expression fall and transform into steeled determination as he grasped the outstretched hand.</p><p>Once the boy was on his feet, Kenma’s eyes sided away again, backing up for personal space.</p><p>“Kenma.” He stated, sneaking a quick glance at the now smiling boy.</p><p>“Shouyou!” His fiery beaming smile caught Kenma off guard.</p><p>Sighing to himself quietly, Kenma nodded and began pacing towards the sidewalk.<em> Just help him find his sister and then disappear again.</em> He couldn’t fathom why he was helping this kid in the first place; let alone why he shared his name. The biggest mistake Kenma could make is become part of this town. He had to remain an outlier, exist beyond the boundaries, never become part of anything beyond himself.</p><p>“So, did you just move in here?”</p><p>His walking halted as he was suddenly aware of his surroundings once more. Ducking his chin into his chest, he shook his head. “No. Only visiting.” He ignored the way Shouyou’s face dropped at the response.</p><p>Folding his hands behind his head, the orange haired boy’s bright smile returned to his face. “Guess we’ll just have to make the most out of your time here then!”</p><p>The pair walked a few more blocks in silence. Kenma appreciated how the other boy wasn’t prying like he anticipated. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, albeit a bit stiff.</p><p>“Oh!” Shouyou shot a look of hope into Kenma’s eyes. “This is the neighborhood playground! She might be hiding in here somewhere!” Kenma nodded and the two of them made way into the play-area.</p><p>Shouyou called his sister’s name out as the two of them searched every part of the area that she could hide in. Luckily, the two of them were rather small for their age, so they could navigate the slides and mini fortresses with ease. When it was clear that Natsu was not in the playground, the pair slumped back to the sidewalk.</p><p>Kenma bit his lip at the dejected face next to him. “Are there any areas around town that she liked to frequent?”</p><p>Looking up in thought, Shouyou frowned with his reply. “Natsu is really young. She doesn’t go much of anywhere by herself.”</p><p>“Then maybe…” Kenma trailed off. He wasn’t going to bother finishing his sentence, but when his eyes flickered up, he became flustered at the way Shouyou was visibly hanging on his words. “Maybe there’s a place that you frequent? Somewhere that makes her think of you?”</p><p>In that moment, Kenma felt his heart leap with anticipation at the way Shouyou’s eyes lit up. Suddenly his hand was grasped, and Shouyou was looking at him intensely.</p><p>“She’s at the volleyball court.”</p><p>Before Kenma could fully process what was happening, he was being led by the hand. His legs were pumping as fast as they could carry his little out-of-shape, but slender body.</p><p>He trailed behind the ginger headed boy as he was tugged for all his worth. Kenma couldn’t properly remember the last time he ran, and certainly not at full speed like this. Every time he thought of asking Shouyou to slow down or go on without him, he ended up biting his own tongue. Running through the town like he was on an important mission… it almost felt fun—lively even.</p><p>Kenma nearly slammed into Shouyou when they finally skidded to a halt. The two of them stood just beyond the fences to the court, but Kenma felt his insides sigh in relief at the sight on the bleachers.</p><p>Natsu sat, safe from harm, in the lap of a beautiful high school aged girl. She was using childish grand gestures as she spoke to the cool and collected girl who appeared to be listening intently.</p><p>“Kiyoko-san…” Shouyou let go of Kenma’s hand as he approached the gates, shoulders slumped and slightly withdrawn.</p><p>The two girls on the bleachers drew their attention to the boys. Natsu stood up with a jolt, her eyes sparkling with fresh tears. “Onii-chan…!”</p><p>Shouyou walked into the court, suddenly dropping down to a knee. He held his arms out wide, and his sister did not hesitate to dash straight into her brother’s arms. She buried her face into his neck.</p><p>“Onii-chan I’m so sorry for running away! Please don’t be mad!” Natsu fought the words out between her gasping sobs.</p><p>Her older brother rubbed her back slowly. “I’m just glad you’re safe.” Lifting his sister up on his waist, he now addressed the other girl directly. She was standing from the bleachers, a warm but elegant and reserved smile spread across her lips. “Thank you for being here, Kiyoko-san. I should’ve been more careful. Who knows what could’ve happened if you weren’t here?”</p><p>Kiyoko tilted her head as she closed her eyes in a smile. “Good thing I was here then!” stepping down from the bleachers, she directed her attention to Kenma who was still hanging back by the gates. “Hinata-kun, are you going to introduce me to your new friend?”</p><p>Shouyou turned around and beamed at Kenma behind him. Stifling her sobs, his sister peered her head up to see who Kiyoko was talking about. Grinning, Shouyou set his sister back down on the court. “I’ll let him introduce himself!”</p><p>Fiddling with his fingers apprehensively, Kenma dragged himself inside the court. He kept his eyes fixated on his fingers. Taking a deep breath in for air, he spoke to the group.</p><p>“Kozume Kenma. I actually live in Tokyo, but I’m visiting my cousin Kuroo for a while.” He made a small bow to the group. “Sorry for the trouble.”</p><p>“No need to apologize,” Kiyoko started. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”</p><p>“Kenma was the one who helped me find Natsu!” Hinata beamed up at the girl. “He helped me think of where to look.” He suddenly whipped around to Kenma, eyes twinkling with awe. “I’m forever in your debt!”</p><p>Shaking his head and hands, Kenma took a few steps back. “It’s not that much!” he sighed and focused back on his fingers. “It was only the right thing to do.”</p><p>Kiyoko pushed her glasses up, flashing a smile as she did so. “It takes a good person to choose to do the right thing.”</p><p>Kenma suddenly felt uncomfortably vulnerable, like a solider losing all his armor. He shivered and looked away, unable to hold Kiyoko's gaze.</p><p>“Onii-chan,” Shouyou leaned down to his sister who was pulling at his shirt. “There are four of us now. Can you ask Kenma-san if he wants to play?”</p><p>Smiling at Kenma’s quizzical face, Shouyou explained with excitement. “Natsu wants to know if you want to play a game of volleyball with us!”</p><p>Instantly, Kenma froze. He felt his heartbeat kick back up like he was running at full speed again. “Oh, uhm… sorry, I can’t.”</p><p>Shouyou pushed his eyebrows together in a slight plea to his new friend. “Why’s that? Is Kuroo expecting you back soon?”</p><p>“No, it’s—” Kenma internally kicked himself. He could’ve just said 'yes' and went back to his room and bury all this in the past. But what if he was asked again later? But there didn’t have to be a 'later'. He didn’t have to associate with anybody in this town ever again. Swallowing hard, he peered down at Natsu's saddened expression. He hung his head in resignation.</p><p>“I can’t play because my arms are broken.” He took a brief moment to take in the others' concerned expressions. Quickly, he pulled up his sleeves to reveal the white medical bandages over his wrists. “It’s not safe to hit a ball with them yet.” He immediately tugged the sleeves back down and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I don’t want to jeopardize the recovery.</p><p>Kiyoko held her hand to her chin and frowned. “Well that’s too bad. I hope you make a quick recovery.”</p><p>He nodded and turned his head away, suddenly unable to handle any length of eye contact.</p><p>Hinata stepped in close, his face less than a foot away from Kenma, making it impossible for the other to avoid his gaze. “But you can still set, right?” he paused as he took in Kenma’s intrigued look. “we can practice spiking and receives for this week’s game. You don’t have to hit the ball with your arms. Just toss it.”</p><p>Initially planning to hold his stance, Kenma soon found himself wavering under Shouyou's intense gaze. “I can try that…”</p><p>Natsu and her older brother simultaneously began bouncing with their arms and legs out wide. They cheered loudly, causing Kenma to blush lightly.</p><p>Kiyoko smiled down at Kenma, speaking just loud enough to be audible over the cheering. “I’ll grab the ball then.”</p><p>While Kenma was by no means ready to eat his words about volleyball being a 'dumb, sweaty sport', he would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit he had a good time. He quickly learned he was really good at giving tosses, and Kenma liked things that he was immediately good at. They didn’t keep score, but made sure Natsu knew she was getting a lot of points. The four of them decided it was time to cool down when Natsu kept yawning and tripping over her own feet. Kiyoko said she would stay after to lock the storage room and finish cleaning the bleachers—the initial reason for her being at the court in the first place—while Hinata carried his sleeping sister home. Kenma walked back with Shouyou, mostly because he wasn’t sure he knew the way back.</p><p>It was a pleasant almost-silent summer sunset walk back. The world was filtered deep gold as they walked along with their elongated shadows to the sounds of the cicada's day end screams. Natsu's silent slumber on her brother's shoulders added to the soothing aura of the early evening walk.</p><p>“You didn’t really break any bones in your arms, did you Kenma?”</p><p>The older teen felt his heart catch in his throat at Hinata's sudden observation. He stared wide eyed at the other's intense gaze. His eyes demanded a response.</p><p>“N-no… No. I didn’t.”</p><p>Hinata nodded to himself. “I knew that.” The fire was gone from his expression when he looked back at Kenma. He now appeared with a neutral, relaxed expression. “I could tell from the moment you pulled your sleeves up that those weren’t stability bandages. That’s why I asked if you could set—you didn’t seem like you have any flexibility issues. Besides,” Hinata peered closer his eyes growing wide again, “People typically don’t wear long sleeves over broken bones in the summer.”</p><p>Kenma swallowed hard, but Hinata was done pressing him. He was back to his default smile that screams <em>I’m here for you</em>. Kenma bit his lip and trained his eyes to his feet. Shouyou didn’t require an explanation from him, but he made it clear he didn’t appreciate the lie. Taking in a deep breath, Kenma decided to break the safety in their comfortable silence.</p><p>“I failed to end my life.”</p><p>Hinata halted mid-step at the other’s words. His mouth hung slightly agape.</p><p>Kenma darted his eyes away in shame. Shouyou probably only imagined some superficial cutting. “That’s why I’m here with Kuroo for now.” He sighed softly before continuing. “I’m doing a daily partial hospitalization program at the Nekoma Center downtown. As soon as they clear me, I can head back home to Tokyo.”</p><p>Looking deep in thought, the ginger boy nodded his head as the two continued walking. “I see.” He offered Kenma an optimistic smile. “You’ll be healed up soon though, I just know it! So we have to make the most out of our time together. Will you please play with me again tomorrow too?”</p><p>He didn’t even have time to think before he was nodding back at the boy. “Okay… yeah. I will.”</p><p>Shouyou giggled through his wide tooth smile. “It’s settled then!” He gave Kenma a pure, sincere expression. “Thank you, Kenma! I appreciate you agreeing to play with me tomorrow!”</p><p>The bleached blonde bit his own cheek as punishment. <em>Making another promise? Are you kidding me?</em> He never imagined growing this sloppy, and decided to blame it on this godforsaken town.</p><p>“Do you want to text?” Shouyou suddenly pulled him out of his own head.</p><p>Kenma flushed, slightly lowering his head. “Sorry, I can’t. I wasn’t able to bring any electronics.”</p><p>“Guess I’ll just have to come over a lot then!” Hinata grinned at his new friend, suddenly stopping as he readjusted Natsu in his arms.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess so.” Kenma slowly pulled a weak, wavering smile across his lips.</p><p>Hinata’s eyes sparkled at the sight. “Kenma! That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile!” The other boy quickly held a sleeve-covered hand up to his lips. “It’s a pretty weak smile, if I’m being honest. But I know you’ll get better at it soon!”</p><p>Tucking his chin down to his chest, Kenma hid his reddening cheeks behind his hand and hair.</p><p>“Kuroo’s house is just a straight shot from here.” Hinata gestured his head down the road. “I’m gonna tuck Natsu in for the night.”</p><p>Kenma gave a tight lipped nod.</p><p>“Goodnight,” Hinata smiled.</p><p>“Goodnight.” Kenma watched the boy attempt to bow with his sister in his arms which he returned with a weak head nod. Once Hinata had turned to head down his own street, Kenma began his own way back to Kuroo’s house. For the first time since Kenma could remember, he felt loneliness. He thought this emotion evaporated years ago leaving him to find only comfort in the safety of isolation.</p><p>Lucky for Kenma, he wouldn’t have to put up with solitude for much longer. The moment he opened the front door to Kuroo’s house, he identified the messy head of hair on the couch.</p><p>He couldn’t help but think the atmosphere in the room was slightly odd. Kenma slipped off his shoes, the room coated in a thick silence. Kuroo still hadn’t turned around yet, but there was no way he didn’t hear Kenma come in.</p><p>Finally, Kenma heard his cousin take in a deep breath of air. Without turning around, he spoke to the teen.</p><p>“Kenma, could you take a seat here please?”</p><p>Kenma nodded, despite being well aware Kuroo couldn’t see him from behind. He shuffled to the couch and plopped himself next to his cousin.</p><p>Kuroo sat with his legs spread wide, slumped over with one arm holding his head up, but with his face hidden in his hand. He just sat like that for a few moments, silent and heavy. But the moment he craned his head up, and turned his worn out expression in Kenma’s direction, the boy felt his stomach drop.</p><p>“Do you know what time it is, Kenma?”</p><p>He felt his mouth run dry. He felt like his voice was stolen away, so he opted for shaking his head instead.</p><p>Exhaling sharply through his nose, Kuroo pointed his gaze to the clock in the living room. It was a quarter after eight. Slowly, he drew his eyes back to Kenma. The blonde swallowed hard. Guilt.</p><p>“I don’t have a watch.”</p><p>He was shocked by his own voice. The words just blurted out faster than he could authorize them.</p><p>But it wasn’t enough. Kuroo pushed his eyebrows together, his eyes glistening a plea as he spoke through pursed lips.</p><p>“I didn’t even know you were gone.”</p><p>Kenma hung his head. Kuroo sounded so disappointed—so hurt. It wasn’t something Kenma was used to. His parents were never really around to enforce any 'rules' they might’ve established. He didn’t have to put up with not meeting his parents expectations because they barely even set any in the first place. He never truly felt like part of a family at home. He felt more like an outdoor cat, wandering around as he pleased. Recognized as part of the household, but fundamentally independent.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Kenma didn’t have it within him to look at his cousin. He trained his eyes on his hands as he continuously scrunched and released the fabric of his sweatpants covering his lap.</p><p>“Your doctor gave me strict rules when she finally allowed me to watch over you.”</p><p>He didn’t lift his head, but his eyes widened in shock. Kuroo… asked for him? Persistently? He had always assumed he was shipped off to the begrudging bachelor because he was simply the best option. But to think Kuroo actually petitioned to be subject to this… it blew his mind.</p><p>“She told me to contact an emergency response center immediately if I was ever unable to verify your safety within ten minutes.” Kenma lifted his head just enough to meet Kuroo’s pained eyes. “I thought at first that it was my ego not wanting to admit I dropped the ball on the first day, but I couldn’t ignore this blaring voice telling me not to do it because—not even just because I trust you—but because I want you to trust me.”</p><p>The boy didn’t know he was crying until Kuroo cupped his face and wipe a year away with his thumb.<em> It felt so nice</em>. Kenma couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch.</p><p>“I’m on your side, Kenma. When you promised me that you would help me find a new cat, I believed you. That’s how I knew… I just knew you would come home tonight. And I want you to trust me too. I’m not trying to pass your care off to someone else to make things 'easier for me', because I want you here. I want you to be happy, and I want to assist with that as much as I can.”</p><p>Kenma could only describe it as his restraints being cut with a sharp blade. Or like clusters of balloons being released into the sky. Lifting himself up slightly from his seat on the sofa, he flung himself at Kuroo. Wrapping his arms around his cousin, he didn’t give a single shit about anything in the world as he cried loud, ugly sobs into Kuroo’s shirt.</p><p>It must’ve been <em>years</em> since Kenma allowed himself to cry in front of someone, and it’s been even longer since the boy felt like he was truly unhinged. He appreciated Kuroo’s soothing hand on his back as he sobbed out all his pain.</p><p>When he finally found himself gasping with dry eyes, he craned himself up to meet Kuroo’s smiling face.</p><p>“It takes a lot of courage and strength to let yourself be vulnerable. But that’s how you’re able to heal.”</p><p>Truly, Kenma would be lying if he said he understood exactly what his cousin was saying, but the words made him feel safe.</p><p>“I bet you’re hungry, Kenma.” A nod, and Kuroo patted his back. “Go wash yourself off, and I’ll reheat dinner, okay?” He gave a weak smile.</p><p>Sniffing through his post-sob congestion, Kenma nodded back. “Okay.” He offered the hint of a smile through a bit lip.</p><p>Kenma made his way to the bathroom and almost gagged at his own reflection. Crying was a bad look for him, he thought as he pressed a wash cloth soaked in freezing water to burning eyes. After fixing his hair up with his fingers, he wandered back outside to the kitchen table. He was honestly surprised to see Kuroo seated with his own plate. Kenma had figured he ate already.</p><p>The two of them shared a quick “thank you for the food” and ate the simple rice and salmon Kuroo made. Kenma enjoyed the simple meal far more than he anticipated. He had no recollection of the last time he sat at a table with a family member and ate a hot, home cooked meal.</p><p>“I’m not the best at cooking since I’ve never had anyone to impress, but I don’t think I’m too bad since I haven’t gotten sick feeding myself yet.” He chuckled lightly at his own joke, but Kenma only shrugged his shoulders in response. “So, what were you up to today?”</p><p>Kenma knows the question Kuroo truly wants to ask is <em>what were you so caught up with that you didn’t return home until sunset?</em> But he doesn’t ask that. Instead, he asks an open ended question so Kenma can answer as much as he feels comfortable with.</p><p>“I made friends with one of the neighborhood kids.”</p><p>Kuroo gapes at the answer. He quickly attempts to contain his blatant shock. “That—that’s amazing Kenma! Good for you! Who’s the lucky kid?”</p><p>“Shouyou. He has a little sister named Natsu.” He shoved a spoonful of rice into his mouth. “She’s cute.”</p><p>“Ah yes! The Hinatas! They are an adorable bunch. Especially Shouyou; he comes around a lot and asks if I need help. Makes me feel kind of old…” Kuroo trails off to himself before drawing back into the conversation. “You should invite him over for dinner tomorrow night. I’m having some guests over so Hinata can keep you company if I’m too occupied.”</p><p>Kenma nodded, but he also tensed. He wasn’t aware Kuroo had invited more than one guest.</p><p>“Unfortunately, it can’t helped,” Kuroo started, practically reading Kenma's mind. “A work colleague of mine is coming over for business, but we go way back, so his fiancé is tagging along for dinner.” Kuroo snuck in a slightly cocky grin. “I’m going to be the best man at the wedding!”</p><p>Another shrug. Kenma thought weddings were pointless cheesy social norms. And he didn’t like the idea of forcing someone to legally commit to put up with him for the rest of his life.</p><p>“Hinata is good friends with them too. He’s going to be the ring bearer at their wedding actually!”</p><p>“So the wedding is soon then?” Kenma wasn’t sure why he bothered to ask. Maybe it was because talking over dinner was nice. Maybe he just wanted to keep the conversation going. He usually ate alone in the dark of his room with the screen of his gaming monitor illuminating his plate.</p><p>“It is soon! Just a little over a month from now, actually.” Kuroo suddenly tensed “And I haven’t even began preparing a speech yet!”</p><p>“I’m done.” Kenma announced. He looked up at Kuroo blankly.</p><p>Kuroo beamed at his little cousin. “I’m so happy you actually ate it all! I should give myself more credit; turns out I’m a great chef!” He laughed to himself softly, gloating in his success. “Kenma, why don’t you go get washed up and ready for bed now? It’s going to be an early morning tomorrow.”</p><p>“I can help clean up.” He did have to admit to himself that he did feel at least a little guilty. Kuroo cooked dinner without any help and Kenma, ungratefully, dipped out the house and showed up late postponing the meal hours later.</p><p>But Kuroo batted his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. Just try to hurry to bed, okay?”</p><p>Reluctantly, Kenma padded out of the kitchen to begin winding down for the night. He wished he could’ve taken a bath since he was only able to take quick lukewarm showers during inpatient, but he really only had himself to blame for not coming home earlier. He had to be at the Nekoma Center by eight in the morning, so he wasn’t trying to cut out any additional time he could be spending asleep.</p><p>Kenma was changed into his pajamas now. He sat on his bed, drying out as much dampness from his hair as he could, when he heard soft rapping from behind the door.</p><p>“Come in.” Kenma wasn’t sure why Kuroo bothered with knocking. It’s not like he was able to lock the door—he checked—and if he didn’t answer, Kuroo would come in anyway.</p><p>“Thank you.” His cousin stepped into the room holding a glass of water and a small translucent cup that Kenma already knew the contents of. He had a peaceful smile splayed across his face as he made his way over to the blonde.</p><p>No words were exchanged as Kenma held his hands out to receive the glass and meds. He swallowed all the pills at once and showed Kuroo the insides of his mouth, including under his tongue.</p><p>“Is there anything I can do for you tonight?” Kuroo asked, breaking the comfortable silence.</p><p>“You’ve already done enough for me.”</p><p>Chuckling lightly, Kuroo lowered himself to sit next to Kenma on the bed. “That wasn’t a 'no'. How can I help you, Kenma?”</p><p>He shrugged, but exhaled heavily and leaned on Kuroo’s arm. “I saw Shouyou get bullied today. I don’t understand why anyone would be mean to him. He’s so nice. And friendly.”</p><p>Kuroo hummed and nodded his head. “People who go out of their way to hurt others are often hurting in their own way. Everyone expresses their pain differently; some people tear themselves apart and others will destroy the world around them. I think the common denominator is that they don’t believe they’re worthy of love and do everything in the power to stop people from loving them. Or parts of them.” He tucked a lock of hair behind Kenma’s ear, causing the boy to look up at him. “Do you think bullying is wrong, Kenma?” A nod. Kuroo laughed. “So stop bullying yourself then. Easier said than done, I know. But you’ll be able to do it with time and support. Maybe the bullies could use that too.”</p><p>“Thank you, Kuroo.”</p><p>Rising back to his feet, Kuroo stretched and yawned dramatically. “No problem. Hope you can sleep a little easier tonight with that off your mind.” He turned to face the bed and began tugging at the blankets. “Let me tuck you in.”</p><p>Kenma stifled a laugh as he rolled his eyes. “I’m not five.” Despite his words, he laid down under the blankets.</p><p>“You’re never too old to be tucked in.” Kuroo said as he adjusted the blankets comfortably around Kenma. “Heck, if my mom could come over and tuck me in every night, I wouldn’t even try to stop her.” He ran his fingers gently through Kenma’s hair. “If you need anything, you know where my room is.” Patting Kenma’s arm through the blankets, he offered another smile down at the boy, and the only word Kenma could think of to describe his face was <em>home</em>.</p><p>Kuroo turned off the lamp from the nightstand and crossed over to the doorway.</p><p>“Goodnight, Kenma.”</p><p>“Goodnight.”</p><p>And it wasn’t until Kenma heard the door shut. Not until he heard Kuroo’s footsteps disappear down the hallway. He sighed and whispered quietly to the darkness.</p><p>“I love you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading this chapter through till the end! In the next chapter, you'll get to join Kenma at the Nekoma Center! New characters that will be introduced in chapter 2 are: Bokuto, Akaashi, Lev, and (depending on how long the chapter is getting lol) Ushiwaka.</p><p>I feel like I should be identifying days of the week to keep the story oriented (since the volleyball tournaments are on Sundays) but it was A Lot of work with editing the timeline for accuracy the last time I did that lol. And uh, this fic is updating as we go so idk if I can just like.... change things like the days of the week lmao.</p><p>Anyway! Please let me know what you think so far! I pretty much have a good idea of how this fic will go, but I'd like to hear your predictions (and maybe steal some ideas hehe!!!) Thanks loves!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Destiny</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In this chapter we meet Lev and learn why he's staying at the Nekoma Center. Kenma also picks up on a new bad habit and meets a new character that almost scares the piss out of him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y'all this chapter was supposed to be so much longer but I was so excited to post again haha I wonder if that's gonna be the theme for this fic. I cut like two truly unnecessary scened AND ended this chapter early because it was getting too long. Like I think I picked a good stopping point normally I don't know how to pick stopping points and each chapter is just one full day. I'm glad I'm experimenting with posting as I write because I think it helped me gained this insight.</p><p>OH ALSO!! IMPORTANT! I got a comment about ages and I think I meant to bring it up earlier and just forgot lmaoooooo. But everyone is their canon, pre time skip age except for the people who are clearly adults and are their post time skip age. So far it's only Kuroo, but Bokuto and Akaashi will be adults too. Hope that helps!!</p><p>I'm gonna shut up now, but thank you for all my readers for making this so much fun! I'd love it if you dropped a comment to say hi, but I appreciate any support you can offer!! Love you all &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He would never get used to car rides, Kenma thought to himself as he sipped tea from the tumbler Kuroo lent him. He grew used to being part of background noise on the Tokyo rails. Something about the plushness of the car's seat, the smoothness of the ride, the seatbelt. It felt so foreign and fantasy.</p><p> </p><p>The morning went better than he imagined. After being gently shook awake from a dreamless sleep, Kuroo administered his morning medications. He got dressed and wandered into the kitchen to find that Kuroo had already prepared a hot breakfast for the two of them. Sure, it was only oatmeal, but it didn’t help Kenma’s rising unease that this wasn’t real. It was too abnormal. Everything was too soft and warm and fake. It didn’t feel like his life.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma pressed his face against the cold glass window. It felt cold, but it still didn’t feel right. He didn’t even notice when it started, but Kenma found himself squeezing the life out of his forearms over the bandages. It hurt like shit, and the pain caused him to space out for a bit. But when he calmed back down, he felt re-centered. Being able to focus on nothing other than the insane pain took the stress of the overwhelming new environment away. The cool down after the sharp pain left him feeling oddly relaxed.</p><p> </p><p>“—but I think it’ll be fine anyway.” Kuroo spoke, unaware Kenma was too occupied to participate in the conversation. “I mean, as long as it’s alright with you.” A beat of silence and Kuroo flicked his eyes up to view Kenma through the rearview mirror. “Okay, Kenma?” He spoke directly with a tad bit of sharpness in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>That was enough to grab Kenma’s attention.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, sorry. I wasn’t listening.”</p><p> </p><p>Kuroo sighed dramatically. “Well, at least you’re honest about it.” He chuckled to himself softly. “Anyway, we're almost there. Don’t worry, I won’t walk you in like a preschooler.” He smiled at Kenma expectantly but didn’t appear fazed when Kenma didn’t laugh in return.</p><p> </p><p>The remainder of the ride was not noteworthy. Kenma thanked every god out there that Kuroo had enough sense not to blast his garbage music so early in the morning. Rather, he preferred to listen to the public broadcast station. Kenma appreciated the anchor’s soothing voice as she relayed the weather, local news, and upcoming public events.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t aware that Kuroo had parked until he was twisted back at Kenma with a concerned expression.</p><p> </p><p>“Is there something bothering you, Kenma? You seem out-of-it this morning.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma shook his head. He exhaled and mumbled an inaudible ‘it’s fine’ under his breath. He reached for the door handle well aware that pulling it would serve him no good against the child safety lock.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me help you out, bud!” Kuroo exited the driver’s seat and stepped around the car to free Kenma from the vehicle. “I’ll be here to pick you up at two, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>No eye contact was offered, but Kenma did nod his head in acknowledgement before hopping out the back seat. He had already started walking to the building when Kuroo’s hand dropped on his shoulder, holding him in place. Kenma let his eyes flicker up to his cousin’s warm expression.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you best, okay? I believe in you.”</p><p> </p><p>He immediately whipped his head to the building in order to hide his flushing cheeks. Kenma gave a nod in reply. He kept his head down at his feet pacing to the entrance of the Nekoma Center. In the distance, he heard the car’s door slam shut. Even though part of him wanted to, Kenma forced himself not to look back at Kuroo driving away. He tunnel visioned the center until the door came within his grasp.</p><p> </p><p>The check-in process didn’t give him any idea of what to expect. The nurse at the front desk seemed polite, if a bit tired, as she signed him in and handed Kenma a welcome packet. He grasped the folder with both hands as he crossed through the double doors and into the treatment area. Kenma didn’t need to check to know the door auto-locked when it shut behind him. Just as the nurse promised, a tech was waiting for him behind the door to guide him through the center to his program's area.</p><p> </p><p>The tech was friendly enough—not as tired looking as the receptionist—and didn’t try to force Kenma to engage in small talk as they walked. He did, however, fill the silence with facts about the architect and history of the center. Kenma thought he was good at reading people.</p><p> </p><p>It was all too soon when the journey ended and the tech delivered Kenma to his destination. He waved goodbye and left Kenma on the other side of another auto-locking door.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma took a shaky sigh. He was in a corridor-like area leading off to several common rooms. Some patients eyed him as they walked by. Kenma quickly deciphered that he was in a lower-risk teen unit. Any further information, he assumed, would come from his welcome packet. And since Kenma had never been one for surprises, he decided it would be best to read it.</p><p> </p><p>Turning into the smaller common room, Kenma almost deflated when he saw that every table was already occupied. He pursed his lips and chose a place to sit at random.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma plopped himself down on the chair as quickly and quietly as he could in a futile effort to avoid alerting the boy across from him that somebody had joined his table.</p><p> </p><p>He knew his play at stealth proved pointless the same moment the boy's razor sharp green eyes flickered up at him. Kenma shivered subtly. He grabbed at his bandaged arm subconsciously.</p><p> </p><p>The boy across from him kept his face blank throughout the exchange. He only stared at Kenma briefly, but to the blonde, it felt like hours. Kenma didn’t notice he was holding his breath until the boy’s eyes drifted back to the coloring pages below his hands.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until Kenma went to open the folder to his welcome packet that he realized he was squeezing at his wounds. He hissed at the pain that arose from the loss of constriction, and forced himself to focus on the words printed on the packet pages.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma was unfortunately unable to avoid diverting his gaze to the other boy at his table. There were a few things Kenma noticed right off the bat.</p><p> </p><p>Firstly, the boy was tall. Even from his seated position, Kenma could tell the boy was far above average height. He also had terrible posture.</p><p> </p><p>Second, Kenma couldn’t help but notice the boy's hair. It was a grey-blonde color, but what really stood out to Kenma was the neatness. The boy’s hair was parted to perfection, combed through with pristine diligence. There was not a single strand out of place, and this was in sharp contrast to the rest of his appearance.</p><p> </p><p>The third thing Kenma noticed was that, aside from his hair, the boy was extremely unkempt. He had bags under his sunken eyes that Kenma could’ve sworn had to come from some source other than just sleep deprivation. His cheeks were hollow as well and his lips looked pale. But the thing that Kenma couldn’t help but focus on was his weight—or lack thereof.</p><p> </p><p>The crew neck and baggy joggers the boy wore left plenty to imagination, but the visible parts of his body gave away the boy's reason for being at the Nekoma Center. His fingers were practically skeletal, and his collar bones above the neckline to his shirt served as a dead giveaway. Living in Tokyo, Kenma saw plenty of people who starved themselves for one reason or another. Sometimes it was for a love interest or a career in the idol industry. But sometimes, it was just to pay rent.</p><p> </p><p>“Um,” the boy interjected Kenma’s thoughts. He felt slightly embarrassed and thought maybe he was caught staring. “Are you gonna use that?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma followed his weak gesture to the coloring page under his folder. He shook his head and slid the page across the table.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you!” he beamed at Kenma.</p><p> </p><p>In all honesty, he was taken aback by the genuinely bright and cheery smile. It looked like something that belonged on a healthy person full of life—like Shouyou. Pretending to go back to reading his pamphlet, Kenma snuck glances at the scene across the table.</p><p> </p><p>Two things were immediately obvious to Kenma when he took in the boy’s coloring pages. The first being that he liked cats, and the second being that he sucked at coloring in the lines. Kenma wondered if his low weight was responsible for the terrible motor skills.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, Kenma couldn’t maintain his discretion. The boy across the table lifted his head, and Kenma was locked in with those same sharp green eyes again.</p><p> </p><p>Despite his initial intimidating appearance, the silver headed boy offered a shy smile. “I know I’m not very good at this, but it keeps me sane.” His smile shifted slightly wider. “It’s embarrassing, but coloring these cats in colors that remind me of my family keeps the loneliness away.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma blinked. “But won’t you see them in a few hours anyway?”</p><p> </p><p>It was very obvious in the way that the boy deflated that Kenma had said the wrong thing.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not in partial. I’m a resident here.”</p><p> </p><p>He swallowed hard. “Oh. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay!” He was suddenly flashing a goofy, wide tooth smile. “I’m going home tomorrow!”</p><p> </p><p>“Congrats.” Kenma kicked himself for not sounding more enthusiastic. He only hoped it didn’t come across as sarcastic.</p><p> </p><p>“My name is Lev, by the way!” he reached a bony hand out across the table.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma hoped his hesitation wasn’t visible. He grasped Lev's hand, only slightly worried about hurting him, and gave a weak shake. “Kenma.”</p><p> </p><p>Lev didn’t show any signs of pain when he pulled his arm back in. His smile was so cute, Kenma thought. He looked so naïve and child-like.</p><p> </p><p>“First session is starting soon. Do you wanna sit together? I can give you all the ins and outs of the Nekoma Center.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma was nodding his head before he even fully registered the question. While he had zero intention of making any friends here, he didn’t see any harm in talking to someone to keep occupied.</p><p> </p><p>The moment Lev stood up, Kenma redacted his previous observation about Lev being far above average height. The boy was a beanstalk. Even in his terrible, hunched over posture, Kenma knew he was dealing with a giant.</p><p> </p><p>Clearly Kenma’s expression was more transparent than he thought. Lev folded over slightly more as he crossed his arms and bowed his head. “Sorry. I’m huge.”</p><p> </p><p>He wished he knew what reassuring words to offer Lev, but he wasn’t good at words like Kuroo. Kenma only shrugged his shoulders as he stood. This was obviously a serious issue and saying nothing was probably the safest bet.</p><p> </p><p>Still slightly disheartened, Lev tried to smile down at Kenma as he lead him to the session area. There were already a good amount of patients situated in the room. There were about five or so round tables to choose from. Kenma let Lev lead them to whatever seat he thought was best.</p><p> </p><p>They didn’t exchange any words as the room filled up. Kenma felt himself grow more and more bored of this by the second. He was worn out before the day began. Lev, on the other hand, appeared full of life. His shining emerald eyes were darting around the room, and he continuously bounced his legs. Maybe it was because Kenma spent the majority of his life as an observer and not a participant, but he did notice Lev bounced each leg exactly thirty times before alternating. Lev wasn’t anxious, as one would initially conclude, he was exercising and keeping watch to avoid getting caught.</p><p> </p><p>Just as Kenma was debating if it would be a good idea to encourage Lev to cut it out, a bell chime silenced the room. Following the sound, Kenma focused on the two figures at the front of the room.</p><p> </p><p>One was an elderly man, short and wide, but with a gentle expression. Next to him stood a girl Kenma assumed was around his age. She wore a lanyard and gripped a clipboard, so it was obvious she wasn’t a patient. Her name tag read 'Yachi'.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, everyone!” The man spoke to the room. “I see plenty of familiar faces here, but for those I haven’t met already my name is Nekomata.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma recognized the name right away from his conversation with the tech. Nekomata was the founder and president of the Nekoma Center. He was told to expect to meet Nekomata, but Kenma didn’t expect it so soon.</p><p> </p><p>“Today with me I have Yachi. She is getting her volunteer hours in for early college in nursing.” He gestured politely to the girl who appeared obviously flustered at the attention.</p><p> </p><p>Yachi snapped into a deep bow as she spoke to the room. “I’m still learning, but I will do my best!” she rose up, her cheeks heated red.</p><p> </p><p>Nekomata lead the room in a round of applause for Yachi's introduction, which didn’t aid her frazzled demeanor. “Thank you, Yachi. Now, could you please read off the activity for this morning?”</p><p> </p><p>“Y-yes!” She held the clipboard close to her face as she read off the instructions. “Please partner off with someone you don’t know and take turns introducing yourself. After ten minutes have passed, you will introduce your partner to the group.</p><p> </p><p>Lev rolled his eyes and leaned in towards Kenma. “We do this same exercise at least once a week. So boring.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great job! Now…” Nekomata glanced at his watch. “You all may begin now. I’ll let you know when time is up.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma directed his attention to Lev. He was glad he didn’t have to scramble around to find someone to partner with; Lev was already scooting his seat closer.</p><p> </p><p>“I can go first since I’ve already done this a million times.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma nodded. He just wanted to delay his turn as long as possible. It wasn’t like he had a clue about what to include in a self introduction; he would have to get some ideas from Lev.</p><p> </p><p>“My name is Lev, but 'course you already know that. My older sister and I are both half Russian, but we were raised here in Japan.”</p><p> </p><p>Still not wanting it to be his turn, Kenma decided to stall by asking questions. “What’s your sister like?”</p><p> </p><p>Lev’s smile widened dramatically. “She’s really pretty and cool! She’s actually a model!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like you miss her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm, not necessarily. Of course I miss her, but she comes to visit me every time we have visiting hours. I’m also kinda mad at her.” Lev leaned in with wide eyes, like he was telling an important secret. “She’s the one who put me in here.”</p><p> </p><p>Mildly intrigued at the statement, Kenma tilted his head. “She doesn’t let you eat?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Lev cocked an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma shrugged. Lev was obviously playing dumb.</p><p> </p><p>“Alisa, my sister, moved out of our parents house right after she graduated because she was already making so much money modeling. I begged her to let me move in with her because my parents already weren’t very happy with me…” he trailed off here and Kenma figured pressing for clarification was a bad idea. “But then she told me we would be moving to the countryside. I didn’t want to move here, but I really didn’t want to go back home. She told me that getting away from the city would be better for my health.” Lev suddenly pouted. He folded his arms at the memory. “I passed out <em>one</em> time and my sister brought me to the hospital. After that, I’ve been stuck here.”</p><p> </p><p>“How long have you been here?”</p><p> </p><p>Lev hummed and looked up in thought. “Probably around a month now. They’ve been discussing my discharge for about a week. I’m so excited to go back home!” Suddenly Lev flushed and waved his hands dismissively. “Sorry! Sorry! I normally don’t share so much!” Kenma shrugged. Lev could keep going for all he cared. “So how did you end up here?”</p><p> </p><p>“I tried to cut my wrists open, but my parents came home from their trip early.”</p><p> </p><p>Lev didn’t even attempt to hide his surprise. “Why would you do that?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma made a small scowl. “Because I’m done with being alive.”</p><p> </p><p>It was obvious that Lev didn’t understand, but he moved on to a different concern. “But that’s no fair! Why do you get to do home every day?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t.” Kenma pushed a lock of hair behind his ear. “I live in Tokyo. I did inpatient there, and now I’m staying in this town with my cousin until I’m cleared to go back.”</p><p> </p><p>Lev put out a small, nervous laugh. “You’re planning on attempting again when you move back to Tokyo, yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>Scoffing, Kenma fired back at him. “Not attempt. Complete.” He didn’t like the patronizing smile on Lev’s face. “You’re gonna stop eating the second you step foot out this place, right?”</p><p> </p><p>The boy didn’t even try to hide how much he much he lit up at the thought. “You can fucking bet!”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma decided he liked Lev.</p><p> </p><p>“You know you’re going to die if you keep it up.”</p><p> </p><p>He gave a sly, devious smile in response. “Who cares?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, your sister for one.”</p><p> </p><p>Shaking his head, Lev leaned back in his chair. “Nah. It’ll be a huge relief when she can finally stop worrying about me all the time.”</p><p> </p><p>Finally someone he could relate to, Kenma thought. Just as he was about to speak up, Nekomata ran the bell again.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay that’s ten minutes. Let’s get started with the introductions!”</p><p> </p><p>The introductions were absolutely boring and Kenma couldn’t be bothered to even halfway pay attention. It was just a bunch of teens who really didn’t want to be here on top of being terrified of public speaking. Kenma wasn’t even aware it was his turn until Lev nudged his leg. He didn’t attempt to mask his apathy as he rose from his seat.</p><p> </p><p>“This is Lev. He’s a—” Kenma’s mind blanked. He didn’t have the guts to look at whatever expression Lev was shooting up at him. He couldn’t just say <em>Lev is a snarky kid who isn’t afraid to look death in the face</em>. When he finally worked up the courage to look at Lev, he was surprised to see the boy was laughing at his hesitation.</p><p> </p><p><em>Dick</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Lev has a good sense of humor. He cares a lot about his sister and is very independent.” Kenma gave himself a mental pat on the back at Lev’s now stunned expression. He figured he would go for the kill. “He also has really amazing green eyes.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma sat down, gloating to himself as he relished in how flustered Lev appeared at the description.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for that remarkable introduction! Going beyond the information provided to deduce one’s personality shows you have excellent communication skills.” Nekomata nodded at Kenma as he spoke. “Now let’s hear from your partner.”</p><p> </p><p>Lev shot up to his feet, the chair scraping loudly on the floor behind him. Kenma noticed that his posture wasn’t as horrible. He was still slouching slightly, but Kenma was more drawn to the fierce look in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“This is Kenma. He’s honest, courageous, and puts others first.” Lev looked down at Kenma, suddenly becoming self aware and hunching over to his normal position. “I think he would make a really good friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“Very good job Lev! Thank you for the introduction, now…”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma couldn’t focus on anything else coming out of Nekomata's mouth. He could only feel the heat on his face and the blood pumping in his ears. Lev only said those things to get back at him, so why did Kenma feel so embarrassed by his words?</p><p> </p><p>Glancing over at Lev, Kenma saw his head and eyes downcast as he returned to bouncing his legs.</p><p> </p><p>The remainder of the session didn’t grab Kenma’s attention. It was about setting boundaries and how they’re important. Kenma decided he didn’t need any more information on creating boundaries and keeping them up. He considered himself a master at it.</p><p> </p><p>Session eventually ended and the patients filed out the room. Lev remained seated. He looked up, easily reading the question written across Kenma’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t have another session until about thirty minutes from now. We can stay in the common rooms until then. Next session is small group though, so depending on your schedule, we could be in different rooms.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma nodded. He had almost forgotten about his welcome packet.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Lev peered at him, an apprehensive look in his eyes. “Why did you say that about me? You didn’t mean it, right?”</p><p> </p><p>He blinked. “I did. I don’t bother saying things I don’t mean.”</p><p> </p><p>Lev pursed his lips. Kenma thought he looked like he wanted to say something else.</p><p> </p><p>“Nobody’s ever described me the way you did.” Kenma said with a small voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Probably because you don’t let people get to know you.” Lev smiled. It wasn’t like Kenma could deny that; he looked away in silence. “You don’t really wanna die anymore, do you?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma snapped a fierce expression at Lev for even suggesting that. Of course he still wanted to die! What kind of question was that? Kenma rolled his eyes. “You don’t wanna starve anymore? You just want to eat your fill?”</p><p> </p><p>“Always.”</p><p> </p><p>In that moment of pure honesty, the intense hunger within the teen became visible. Kenma swallowed hard.</p><p> </p><p>“So why don’t you eat then?”</p><p> </p><p>Lev leaned back again, his face reverting to his default childish grin. “Because starving the only thing I know how to do. It’s what I have to do.”</p><p> </p><p>Maybe the answer wouldn’t make sense to the average person, or even a psychologist, but it was a perfect answer to Kenma. It was perfect because he felt the same way about ending his life. Say he let himself entertain the possibility that Lev was right. If he <em>truly</em> didn’t feel like dying once the time to execute a new plan came, he would still go through with it. At this point, dying wasn’t just an option for Kenma. It was his only option. He didn’t believe in fate or destiny in the traditional sense, but suicide is just what he’s meant to do.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma stared back into Lev’s smiling, but sad and sunken eyes. Lev knew he understood.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m discharging tomorrow at noon and now is the time I finally meet someone cool.” Lev snickered. “Life has some pretty lame timing.”</p><p> </p><p>The blonde nodded. “It does.” If he was being honest, he was bummed out about not being able to have Lev to talk to for the reminder of the program. “Doesn’t your sister live in town? Are you going back to your parents' house?”</p><p> </p><p>“Definitely not going back to my parents’.” Lev shivered at the thought.</p><p> </p><p>This time, Kenma decided to press. It may be a small town, but he didn’t have to ever run into Lev again after his discharge. Depending on how quickly he could execute a new plan, he wouldn’t even have to see Lev tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Why? What’s wrong with living at home. You’re still a teenager.”</p><p> </p><p>“My parents don’t approve of my relationship.” He read Kenma’s, although mild, inquisitive expression and proceeded to clarify. “I have a boyfriend. I love him a lot, but my parents won’t accept that.”</p><p> </p><p>Lev looked on the verge of tears, and Kenma regretted bringing the topic up. He took a chance in hopes to cheer up his new friend.</p><p> </p><p>“What is your boyfriend like?”</p><p> </p><p>It was like flipping a switch. Lev gave a toothy smile before answering the question. “He’s really cute! He’s older than me, but it’s okay. Yaku-san and I met on the internet because we both really enjoyed the same shounen manga. I was thirteen back then and he was already sixteen. Every time we met up in person, I asked him to go out with me, and he always told me 'no' because I was too young. But I already loved him a lot! When I started high school, I finally got him to become my boyfriend!”</p><p> </p><p>“Does he know you’re here?”</p><p> </p><p>Lev nodded. “He’s actually staying in town with my sister so he can visit me. We were long distance before, so it’s kind of embarrassing that he had to leave his hometown because I got sick.” Lev shook his head violently. “I’m so selfish!”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma’s expression softened. While he couldn’t say he'd ever been in Lev’s position, he could relate to the feeling of burdening others with his existence. Kenma constantly felt guilty about invading Kuroo’s home. Even though his cousin assured him it wasn’t an issue for him, Kenma convinced himself his existence inconvenienced everyone around him. But he didn’t want Lev to feel that way.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like he loves you. That’s why he chose to come here.”</p><p> </p><p>Lev’s expression was blank when he looked back to Kenma. “I’m fucking ready to leave this place.”</p><p> </p><p>The rest of Kenma’s day at PHP was nothing short of a drag. The only upsides being that Lev would sneak him his pudding and bread under the table during lunch break. He couldn’t deny the twinge of sadness he felt when it was time to say goodbye to Lev. A tech walked him and the other members of the partial program back to the waiting room. Kenma was about to head outside to find Kuroo in the parking lot when the scene at the reception counter grabbed his attention.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re such a sweet young man for always providing the center with these donations!” The nurse at the counter reached her arms out to grab a large basket full of fruit and vegetables from a very large teen boy.</p><p> </p><p>The boy bowed as he passed the basket off. “It’s only right to assist those that you wish success on.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s very mature of you!”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma was about to roll his eyes at the goodie-two-shoes and exit the building, but the next bit of exchange encouraged him to continue eavesdropping.</p><p> </p><p>“Also miss, I would like to request services for my friend. I’m worried about his health.”</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately we can’t accept patients that don’t complete an evaluation. Do you think you can get him to come in?”</p><p> </p><p>The teen shook his head. “He will not. Please have him sectioned.”</p><p> </p><p>Pursing her lips, the nurse spoke carefully. “We can’t do that unless he has expressed desire to harm himself or others. Has that happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not yet. But I’m sure he will soon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you could get his parents to bring him in for an evaluation then.”</p><p> </p><p>Turning away, he shook his head once more. “That won’t happen. Thank you for your time.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wish I could be more help.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma reasoned that he had been nosy enough and stepped outside. He hadn’t taken more than a few steps when the large, brown haired teen from earlier caught up to him. The look in his hazel eyes was terrifying. He stopped square in front of Kenma, locking the boy in place.</p><p> </p><p>It’s been a long time since Kenma had been scared for his life.</p><p> </p><p>“I don't recognize you.” He slowly scanned Kenma's height through fierce eyes. “I’ll let you off with a warning.”</p><p> </p><p>As much as he wished he could keep his relaxed and vacant demeanor, Kenma was only able to focus on not pissing himself as the bully leaned down closer to his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t get involved in what you’re not able to take the consequences of.” He stood back up slowly, making sure Kenma could take in his entire stance. While this boy wasn’t as tall as Lev, he was much wider and had powerful posture.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma gulped a solid lump of air. He remained glued to the spot, letting his nerves calm back down as the teen disappeared from the scene. After a few moments had passed, Kenma let out a shaky breath and went to find Kuroo in the parking lot.</p><p> </p><p>The moment Kuroo spotted Kenma walking towards him, Kenma couldn’t tell he hadn’t covered his distress enough. Kuroo’s face dropped immediately and he approached the boy carefully.</p><p> </p><p>“Kenma… how was your day? Did everything go alright?”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know why he couldn’t control his body. Kenma’s feet directed him into his cousin. He leaned his head on Kuroo’s chest and squeezed his eyes shut.</p><p> </p><p>“Kenma…?” Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kenma and gripped at his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>No tears were forming, and Kenma thanked his sympathetic nervous system for being too worked up to let him cry. He let out a congested sniffle into Kuroo’s shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.” He pulled out of the hug, still shaking as he tucked his hair behind his ear. “The program was okay but… But I met someone outside while I was leaving.” Kenma bit his lip and turned his head back towards the center. He didn’t understand why he was telling Kuroo about this. Kenma told himself he was getting sloppy, and it was Kuroo’s fault. He turned back to his cousin’s concerned gaze. “He was really scary. He was mean to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is he a patient at the center?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma shook his head. “No, he was just stopping by.”</p><p> </p><p>Kuroo frowned at the information. “Someone who comes to an environment where people go to overcome pain only to instill fear in them instead? I’m sorry, but I don’t have anything good to say about someone like that.” He placed a hand on Kenma back and pulled open the door to the backseat. “When someone makes you feel bad, you have a right to that feeling. But keep in mind that we never know someone’s full picture.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma nodded as he ducked into the seat. He held his breath the same way he always does when Kuroo leaned over him to snap the seatbelt in place.</p><p> </p><p>“Kuroo…”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled down at his cousin, a hint of concern visible in his expression. “What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.” He glanced up at Kuroo’s now frowning face before darting his eyes down to fixate on his own hands. “I’m sorry for invading your house and your life and your schedule and making you worry and always—” Kenma froze at a silencing finger on his lips.</p><p> </p><p>Kuroo remained silent. He shook his head slowly. Pulling his hand back, he stood back up and pushed the door closed, effectively ending the discussion by locking Kenma in the car.</p><p> </p><p>Once he was seated behind the wheel, Kuroo started the engine—and his shitty music. As he backed out from the parking spot, he gave Kenma a pained stare from the review mirror.</p><p> </p><p>“You can never know someone’s full picture.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>me: I cut this chapter because it was getting too long!<br/>also me: posts a hella short chapter</p><p>I mean I am sorry it's so short, but it really truly would've been too long if I included the remainder of the day!!</p><p>Next chapter you'll meet Bokuto and Akaashi (like for realsies this time lol) and also the Miya twins will make an appearance as well!! As always, thank you thank you THANK YOU for sticking with me through this mess I appreciate you all so much!! I'm really sorry this chapter was so lackluster I absolutely promise more fun in the next update! Please let me know what you think so far!</p><p>Much love &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Family (Pt. 1)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>[TRIGGER WARNING!!] In this chapter, a physical wound is reopened. Non graphic depiction of vital laceration and suicidal thoughts. Stay safe!</p><p>Kenma meets the Miya twins, and he despises Atsumu. He learns about family and what different families look like. Kenma wishes he got to experience the loving bonds of family.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>wow hey sorry it's been like 5 months since the last update omg I can't believe it! I've been working on this fic regularly, but I also [stupidly] am working on a bunch of other random projects at the same time. I'm sorry it's another cut short chapter, but I really wanted to get an update out for all my exceedingly patient readers! ilysm &lt;3 I'm gonna try to get the next chapter out ASAP and my goal is within a month!</p><p>Edit: I fixed most of the typos and revised for clarity! Please let me know if I missed anything!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kenma couldn’t figure out what to do with himself as the heat continued to burn his cheeks, and his eyes became uncomfortably prickly.</p><p>“Do you like them?” Kuroo asked, peering at him with a hint of nervousness in his voice. “I didn’t think we would have a similar taste in clothing styles, so I just went with what I see on TV.”</p><p>The teen stepped over to his cot, which was now covered in casual street clothes. He picked up a few items, surveying them apprehensively. They were mostly t-shirts and shorts, fitting for the summer. Most of the shirts were solid colored and some had minor graphics printed on them. The bottoms were a mix of cargo shorts, jeans and sports jersey shorts.</p><p>Stepping away from the display, Kenma clutched at the fabric of his hoodie over his chest. He couldn’t bring himself to turn around and face Kuroo. He kept his head ducked down instead.</p><p>“I just thought you might be tired of walking around in sweats like an inmate.” Kuroo chuckled nervously as he scratched at his head.</p><p>Kenma realized Kuroo’s worried tone was probably from not offering any discernable reaction. He swallowed down a prickly lump in his throat and nodded lightly.</p><p>“T-thank you, Kuroo.”</p><p>He could hear the smile in Kuroo’s voice when he spoke again. “Of course! I am working to secure my spot as the best cousin ever, after all.”</p><p>Pursing his lips, Kenma shook his head slowly as he finally turned to face Kuroo. “There’s no more work to be done.”</p><p>Kuroo beamed at that. He suddenly gasped and dug into his pocket. “Almost forgot! Here.” He grabbed Kenma’s hand and snapped a watch onto the boy’s wrist. “There!” He offered Kenma a toothy grin as his cousin pulled his wrist back to his face and analyzed the new accessory. “Now you can always be home on time for dinner.”</p><p>Kenma pushed his eyebrows together as he replied, “Doesn’t this break the 'no electronics' rule?”</p><p>“What? It’s a watch, Kenma! I don’t think it has Wi-Fi.” He paused at Kenma’s slightly deflated reaction, and a switch went off in his head. “Kenma! Was that a joke? Were you messing with me?” He saw the glint in Kenma’s eyes and matched up to the boy with mock anger. “You little rascal!” He took both his hands and rubbed his palms all over Kenma’s hair until it was sticking up all over.</p><p>“Kuroo!” Kenma pushed and lightly punched at Kuroo’s abdomen. “Cut it out!”</p><p>“No, I’m making your hair cool like mine!”</p><p>Kenma could not hold in his reaction to that. He gripped Kuroo’s shirt, his face barely visible with his bowed head. But Kuroo did not miss the way his little cousin’s lips twitched a small upwards curve.</p><p>“Your hair is not 'cool'. It’s just messy bedhead hair.”</p><p>“My hair is very cool. In fact,” Kuroo removed his hands from Kenma’s head and leaned down to give him a warm gaze. “When I was your age, I hated my hair and tried every trick in the book to make it look neater. My hair was probably my biggest concern of my high school career. But eventually I just gave up, and you know what? It’s basically a second identity for me now.” He straightened up and stroked his chin as he boasted. “The girls all love it. They say I look like a visual kei pop star.”</p><p>Kenma thought back to his own hair. He remembers running to the drugstore and looking for the most basic shade of blonde. In hindsight, dying his hair was the worst step he could’ve taken to stand out less.</p><p>The two of them were pulled out of their thoughts by the sound of Kuroo’s door chime.</p><p>“Oh, it’s far too early for Bokuto and Akaashi to be here I wonder…”</p><p>His face soured when the bell began chiming over and over in quick succession. “Sheesh… I’m coming!” he shouted as he grumbled and stomped to the door.</p><p>Now alone in the room, Kenma ripped his hoodie off and changed into a red t-shirt with cats printed on it. He figured his sweatpants had seen enough action as well and changed into cargo shorts. Each article of clothing was just a tad oversized and Kenma couldn’t have felt happier.</p><p>“Kenma!” Kuroo’s voice sounded from the foyer, “It’s for you!”</p><p>The teen remained considerably confused as he made his way to the door. He couldn’t imagine who could be calling for him. However, the moment Kenma got a glimpse of the kid standing outside with orange hair and a pouty face, he wasn’t sure why he didn’t guess Shouyou from the get-go.</p><p>Kuroo moved aside so Kenma could take his place at the entryway. “Oh, you changed already?” He asked his younger cousin through a mildly smug smirk.</p><p>Kenma didn’t even have time to nod his head before Shouyou was shouting at him.</p><p>“You told me you would play with me today, Kenma! But every time I stopped by, nobody answered the door! I almost thought I made you up, but Natsu remembered you too so I knew that wasn’t the case. How could you just—” Hinata’s sentence ended dead in its tracks when he finally noticed Kenma’s drastic change in attire. “Oh, you’re in summer clothes. Aren’t you worried about your bandages showing?”</p><p>Kenma looked to Kuroo for direction, but his calm smile was enough for Kenma to understand Kuroo wanted him to manage the conversation alone. “I’m not worried.” Or rather, he wasn’t worried until they had been suddenly pointed out and brought into existence.</p><p>“Yeah you shouldn’t be!” Shouyou smiled brightly, flashing his teeth at the two cousins. “You look really punk and tough!”</p><p>Biting his lip, Kenma let his eyes shy away. His cheeks heated up again as he fiddled with his fingers, twirling his feet into the floor.</p><p>“Oh, um...” Shouyou lowered his head, and a light flush darkened his cheeks as he looked at Kenma with apologetic eyes and a sheepish smile. “I was so excited to play again today that I forgot you're busy during the day. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Hinata,” Kuroo called the ginger boy with a sympathetic smile tugging at his lips. “Kenma’s had a really busy day, he hasn’t been home since early this morning. Why don’t you two grab some snacks while you’re out?” His grin widened at Shouyou’s awe-filled gaze and twinkling eyes. He pulled a few bills from his wallet and held Kenma’s hand up to enclose the money in his palm. “Make sure you’re home by six for dinner, okay?”</p><p>Kenma nodded as he secured the cash into his pocket. He bit his lip, playing at the hem of his shirt with restless fingers as he turned back to Hinata. “Shouyou, do you want to have dinner here? Kuroo said it would be okay.”</p><p>Hinata looked close to bursting from glee. He fell into a deep bow. “Thank you for inviting me over!” He perked back up, eyes squinted shut with his smile. “I would be honored to join you!” Hinata retreated from the doorway, stopping to turn back around only a few steps away. “Thank you so much, Kuroo-san! I promise to make sure Kenma stays safe!”</p><p>Kuroo grinned down at Kenma as his little cousin shuffled after his cheery little neighbor. A few seconds before Kuroo decided to step back inside and shut the door, Kenma turned back at him with an unreadable expression painted across his face.</p><p>“Wait Shouyou,” He signaled to his friend with his arm stretched out in a low halting gesture. “I almost forgot something.” Kenma locked eyes with Kuroo and swallowed down the boulder in his throat. He threw himself, practically running to his cousin before his anxiety would make him change his mind. He threw his arms around Kuroo’s midsection, burying his face in his caretaker’s shirt, effectively muffling his words. “Thank you, Kuroo.”</p><p>He was only in shock for a brief moment until gently wrapping his arms around the boy, returning the hug. “It’s really nothing, Kenma.” When Kenma pulled back, he gave a slightly confused look up at Kuroo. “You deserve to have fun with your friends. That’s just the basics. Now…” He flipped Kenma around by the shoulders and gave him a gentle push on the back. “Make sure you’re home in time.”</p><p>Kenma shuffled over to Hinata, keeping his eyes fixated on the ground the whole time. He only looked up in shock when Hinata grabbed his hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Hinata was waving vigorously at Kuroo, and Kenma happened to look back just in time to offer his version of a smile to Kuroo before his cousin shut the door.</p><p>“I’m so happy to see you again, Kenma!” Shouyou smiled at Kenma in a way that reminded him of the sun. “Oh…” His smile faltered a bit as he raised their clasped hands. “Sorry if I’m being too familiar. I know we kinda just met. You can let go if you’re uncomfortable; I don’t mind!”</p><p>His bleached locks flew around his face when Kenma shook his head. “It’s fine.”</p><p>A soft giggle radiated from Hinata’s lips. “That’s okay too! You can always change your mind!” He let a short silence pass between them before speaking up again. “Let’s get going, yeah? Kuroo-san has you on a very tight schedule!”</p><p>Kenma nodded, and the two hit the road hand-in-hand along the sidewalk. The weather was less pleasant than yesterday, a bit hotter and more humid. It was probably because they were out earlier in the afternoon, but Kenma was thankful for the wardrobe change regardless. Their walk was mostly silent, but free from awkward tension. The two boys enjoyed each other’s company and the quiet yet lively summer life around them. It wasn’t until they had stopped for a walk light when Kenma noticed they had entered a different part of town. The air felt cooler—still too early to contribute to an evening breeze. Kenma thought they couldn’t have been walking for more than twenty minutes. The quiet summer ambiance became seagulls squawking nearby.</p><p>“We’re almost at the pier,” Shouyou announced as they crossed the street. “There’s a seasonal restaurant around here with amazing food!” He smiled as he spoke, looking off in a dreamlike bliss. “But we should just get appetizers. Kuroo-san would be upset if we came home with full bellies.”</p><p>They only had to cross a few more blocks until Kenma was able to get a good glimpse at the sea. Living in Tokyo, Kenma couldn’t remember the last time he saw a body of water so unimaginably vast. He became fixated on it, and Hinata noticed.</p><p>“You’re a fan of the beach, Kenma?” Hinata followed his gaze to the glistening waters. “Guess we’ll have to meet up again, huh? We should play together at the beach sometime soon!”</p><p>Truly, playing in salty water and getting sand in his hair didn’t particularly appeal to Kenma. He did find himself nodding to Shouyou anyway. Despite everything, something inside him was screaming that maybe playing with Shouyou on the beach would be good. Kenma found himself listening to that hopeful voice way more often when he was with Shouyou.</p><p>After walking a couple blocks along the pier, Hinata drew them to a stop in front of a surf-shop styled diner. Kenma tensed as they approached the entrance. Nearby, an employee crouched over, blissfully changing specials on the chalk board shop sign. Unfortunately for Kenma, Hinata dropped his hand to run up to the employee. Kenma suddenly felt defenseless.</p><p>“Hello! Good afternoon!” Hinata’s eyes glistened as he grabbed the employee's attention. He held his hands in fists over his collar bones, and Kenma thought if Hinata had a tail it would be wagging.</p><p>The employee immediately discarded his task. He stood up straight and tall, pulling a charmingly lazy smile. “Hello Chibi-chan! Always great to see you!”</p><p>Right off the bat, Kenma noticed the worker's accent. He didn’t like mountain hillbillies. They were just as annoying tourists as Americans when they visited Tokyo. The other thing Kenma picked up on was the dynamic. Hinata was clearly fawning over the older teen who Kenma hastily classified as an egotistical jerk. Kenma concluded this kid was well aware of Hinata’s obvious crush on him but wasn’t interested and decided to lead Hinata on so he could keep ringing in the admiration.</p><p>It made him sick. Hinata deserves better treatment.</p><p>“Yeah, seeing you is always fun!” He offered a toothy grin. “Oh!” Hinata’s cheeks tinged the slightest shade of pink as he turned his attention back to Kenma. “Let me introduce you to my new friend!” He gestured for Kenma to join him at his side, but Kenma stubbornly pretended he didn’t notice. Hinata jogged back over to him, and Kenma swore his heart did not ache when Hinata guided him to the entrance by his shoulders rather than his hand.</p><p>“He’s really shy.” Hinata spoke through nervous laughter. “This is Kenma! He’s cousins with Kuroo-san.”</p><p>Kenma did not attempt to reciprocate the smile offered to him by the teen. “My name is Atsumu Miya, but please just call me Atsumu.” He held his hand out to Kenma.</p><p>“Kozume.” Kenma kept his hands clasped behind his back.</p><p>“Ouch.” Atsumu let his lips twitch into a nervous smile.</p><p>“Aw, don’t be like that, Kenma.” Kenma decided he was not affected by the subtle hurt in Hinata’s eyes or the faltering twitch in his smile. “I really want everybody to get along.”</p><p>“I don’t mind a little shyness!” Atsumu chuckled out, fixing his hands to his hips as he spoke. “It’s actually pretty cute!” He did not show any signs of recoil at Kenma's razor sharp gaze. “My brother is a shy one too, but it’s okay because he has me to do all the talking for him.”</p><p>Hinata radiated awe from the entirety of his being. His eyes grew wide and bright at the older teen. “You’re such a great brother! I should be more helpful to Natsu.”</p><p>Kenma was absolutely certain that Shouyou had never looked at him like that, and most likely never will. He told himself it didn’t bother him. Kenma felt his subconscious remind himself that nothing anyone did could ever get to him. While it may sound cold to others, Kenma found comfort in this mindset. He felt himself detaching from Earth; the scene around him became muffled and blurred out of focus to gray. It was comfortable. Kenma always felt safe in this space.</p><p>The warm hand and gentle shake of his shoulder lured Kenma back to the outside world. His eyes slowly recognized Hinata’s worried face, and the audio of his cautious voice flowed in shortly after.</p><p>“Should you be doing that, Kenma?” There was an expression on Shouyou’s face that was too difficult for Kenma to identify. He noticed that Atsumu had left, and it was now just him and Shouyou standing alone by the storefront. “Doesn’t that hurt? Won’t it mess with the healing?”</p><p>He followed Hinata’s gaze to find his own hand white-knuckle gripping his bandaged arm. Kenma could not pinpoint when he grabbed it–he hadn’t even felt an ounce of pain. When he moved his hand away, the sterile white of his bandages had become tainted by a spreading blood leak.</p><p>“Oh no…” Hinata squirmed slightly at the sight of the growing crimson blob. “They might have a first aid kit inside.” He paced quickly to the door. “I’ll tell someone, but it’s probably best if you stay outside right now.” Kenma watched Hinata disappear through the door, and immediately drew his attention back to the bandages. He thought the spreading blood was actually quite warm.</p><p>It only took a few short moments for someone to emerge from the door with a first aid kit. Kenma figured it was just his luck that the person tending to his wound had to be Atsumu. He had changed into kitchen gear, sporting an apron and brimmed cap. Kenma did find the change in demeanor odd. Atsumu didn’t say anything as he approached, avoiding eye contact like a pro. He guessed Shouyou must’ve told Atsumu the origin of the wounds, and now the teen wouldn’t be able to face him without anxious guilt. Typical.</p><p>“Thank you for waiting outside. I appreciate you not bringing a bleeding wound inside the restaurant.” There was no cocky smile with his words, and Kenma quickly deducted that this couldn’t be the same employee he met earlier. The accent was still there, but it was missing the sharp edges.</p><p>The teen reached for Kenma’s arm, but he jerked it away, covering it protectively with his opposite hand. He eyed the other boy with feline-like caution evident in his eyes.</p><p>Quickly picking up on the reaction, the teen let out a slow exhale. “Sorry, I didn’t realize we haven’t met before. I try to remember all my customers, but I was too caught off guard by the situation.” He offered a smile, and Kenma recognized it. He knew that dead-eye empty smile fairly well. There was a time when he was very familiar with that expression as he used to give it out fairly often just a few years ago.</p><p>“You probably met my twin. My name is Osamu. Would you like me to help you?”</p><p>Kenma listened to the sound of his own breathing for a few beats. He didn’t want anyone to see his cuts. But he told himself it didn’t matter. The bleeding needed to be addressed anyway. He reminded himself that he had a goal to carry out and having a gaping wound on his forearm could very well get in the way of that. Without giving any sort of discernable answer, Kenma extended his arm out to Osamu. He watched the twin lower himself to a kneel for easier access to Kenma’s forearm.</p><p>Osamu worked silently at unraveling the stained bandages. Kenma saw his frame stiffen in shock when Osamu revealed the partially healed laceration. He shakily released his held breath and drew his eyes to meet Kenma’s. Osamu pulled a sort of half smile, reminiscent of his brother’s cocky sneer.</p><p>“Cats, huh?”</p><p>Kenma decided he liked Osamu.</p><p>The older boy gently twisted Kenma’s arm around to inspect the wound. Kenma felt his pulse quicken as he looked at his forearm for the first time in weeks. The memories of the last time he saw his arms flowed back into his head. He became immersed in the memories of that night as he relived the last few moments before passing out. He remembers feeling lightheaded and weak before lying himself down on his bedroom floor. Kenma couldn’t remember what thoughts or emotions were running through his mind that night. Did he feel regret? Was he glad that it was over? Was he scared? Content? In pain? He didn’t know what he felt and simply concluded it was because he didn’t feel anything. In the last few days leading up to his 'stunt' Kenma didn’t feel anything. He didn’t think anything. The only occupant of his mind was death.</p><p>He missed that mindset. It was familiar, calm, and safe.</p><p>A dull, but deep pain surged him back to the outside. He blinked to steady his vision. Osamu was rubbing ointment onto his arm, dabbing away any pooling blood with a gauze pad.</p><p>“Sorry this isn’t anything close to a professional job. All I know was learned from patching up my idiot brother whenever he came to me crying after doing something stupid.”</p><p>The laceration wound was disgusting to look at, Kenma decided. It was red and puffy in most places, slightly reopened and oozing in others. He didn’t understand why Osamu wasn’t gagging at the sight, but he was glad Shouyou hadn’t been subject to the horrendous view.</p><p>It only took a few more moments for Osamu to complete redressing his arm. “There.” He let go of Kenma’s arm and rose back onto his feet. “If it starts leaking again, you should go to the urgent care. You’ll probably need to be stitched back up.” He gave Kenma another tired smile and turned back to the door. “Come on inside and I’ll cook you up something on the house.”</p><p>Kenma kept his head ducked as he followed the twin inside. The interior of the restaurant was really nothing special. It was mostly wooden, and the age of the establishment showed itself as homely character. There was a bar area with a few tables arranged beside it for more guests. Keeping with the beachfront atmosphere, surfboards, fishing nets, and old decorative volleyballs adorned the walls. Kenma shivered to himself. What was with this town and volleyball?</p><p>“Oh! Kenma!” Shouyou hopped down from his barstool and dashed to Kenma. He gripped the blonde's shoulders, giving Kenma a light shake as he looked into his friend's eyes with unfiltered concern. “Did the bleeding stop? Are you hurting?” Kenma shook his head and raised the newly bandaged arm into Shouyou’s view. The ginger's expression softened into relief. He pulled Kenma into a tight hug without warning, startling his friend just a bit. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I should’ve helped you myself.” He released Kenma and closed in on himself. Shouyou shivered slightly, poking at his fingers with downcast eyes. “I’m not very good with blood…” he said just above a whisper. “But you can’t tell anyone else, okay? Or they’ll pick on me.”</p><p>Why anyone in their right mind would pick on a kid like Shouyou was a concept beyond Kenma’s mind. Of course he wouldn’t tell anyone. He would never want to put Shouyou in danger. But at the same time, Kenma actually felt special. He doubted Atsumu knew any secrets about Shouyou. Feeling special wasn’t a state of being Kenma was used to, and if he was being completely honest, it made him feel a bit uncomfortable. He didn’t like being recognized or anything else that made him feel like a real part of the world around him. But regardless, Shouyou did make him feel special, and Kenma couldn’t ignore the butterflies that came with the feeling.</p><p>“I won’t tell anybody.” Kenma’s heart melted as Shouyou relaxed with relief.</p><p>Beaming his familiar sunny smile, Shouyou grabbed Kenma’s hands and gave a warm squeeze. “I didn’t think you would! Thanks Kenma! This is our secret, okay?” He waited for Kenma to nod back before guiding him back to the bar he was seated at earlier—hand in hand.</p><p>It was a little bit of a struggle for Kenma to pull himself up the tall chair. Both his and Shouyou’s feet dangled above the footrest. He only tensed slightly when Atsumu approached them from the kitchen. Kenma was able to confirm it was him just by his characteristically relaxed saunter, but he quickly realized Atsumu hadn’t changed his attire. It was relatively easy for Kenma to tell them apart now; Osamu cooked, and Atsumu waited on customers.</p><p>“Feeling better yet, Kozume?” He leaned on the counter casually to chat with the younger boys. Atsumu waited briefly for an answer, but simply moved on when Kenma remained stoic. “My bro says you’re eating on the house today, how neat is that?” He pulled a mischievous grin, “Order a five-course meal. Make him work for it.”</p><p>“Ah, we won’t do that to poor Osamu-kun. Especially not after he took such good care of Kenma.” Hinata chimed in with a nervous laugh. “Besides, I only brought Kenma here to have a quick snack. Kuroo-san is making us dinner. It would be rude to go back full.”</p><p>Atsumu shifted his attention over to Hinata. “Oh so this is a date, huh? Tsk, tsk Chibi-chan! I guess I missed my chance to take you out then.”</p><p>“Wha—!?” Hinata’s face shaded to a deep rose as he waved his arms dismissively, flipping his head back and forth between Atsumu and Kenma. “Wait! It’s not… I mean—!”</p><p>“Tsumu,” The other twin emerged from the curtain to the kitchen. “Stop harassing my guests, will you?” He approached his brother, stood silently for a few moments, and then smacked him upside the back of his head.</p><p>“Ow!” Atsumu rubbed his sore, staring daggers at his twin. “Just wait until our customers leave! Then I’ll hand it to you like you deserve!”</p><p>Osamu pointedly ignored his brother’s grumbling threats. “I can make something just for you, Kozume-kun. What kind of food do you like?”</p><p>Kenma’s deflection reflex caused him to look at Shouyou for direction. Unfortunately, Shouyou was at the edge of his seat, hanging on to every word for Kenma’s answer. Kenma realized all eyes were on him, and he didn’t enjoy being the center of attention.</p><p>“Uhm,” He bit his tongue and cleared his throat. Kenma hated how childish his voice sounded. “I like sweets…”</p><p>Hinata immediately pounced at the response and grabbed Kenma’s hands. His eyes sparkled brighter than the stars as he gazed intently at his friend. “I would’ve never imagined you had a sweet tooth! That’s so gap-moe!”</p><p>Stuttering in reply, Kenma’s felt his brain mimic the classic Windows shut down tone. He couldn’t tell if he was sweaty and burning hot or experiencing a hollow chill. Moe, let alone 'gap-moe' had never been a term Kenma imagined applying to himself.</p><p>"G-gap moe?" Kenma struggled to spit his words out. He felt his jaw slack open while his eyes widened in curiosity. "You think I'm moe?" Shouyou opened his mouth, but Kenma cut him off swiftly, remembering Kuroo's words from yesterday. "You think I'm cute?"</p><p>There was a sharpness in Kenma's tone, and it more than startled Hinata. He swallowed a shriek at the change in his new friend's demeanor. "I... I—"</p><p>"He has eyes, Kozume." Atsumu chimed in, saving Hinata from peril. The two boys whipped their heads over to find him leaning on the bar counter with the most lazy yet amused look on his face.</p><p>"Okay I'm leaving," Osamu announced to the group, although he was already passing through the curtains to the kitchen.</p><p>With the subject nearly successfully diverted, Shouyou spoke up before Kenma could have a chance to change it back. "I feel like Osamu-kun doesn't like me very much."</p><p>Atsumu pressed his brows together in curious interest. "Why do you think that? He probably likes you more than he likes me."</p><p>"I don't know... it's just that he never agrees to play with me." Hinata pushed out a pout before tacking on his last complaint. "And he never laughs at my jokes either..."</p><p>"Awh that's nothing to worry about, Chibi-chan. He's just built like that!"</p><p>The blatant confusion drew itself all over Hinata's face. "But aren't you two built the same exact way?"</p><p>"Hehe," Atsumu's smile hid a twinge of annoyance. "I guess that's true, but nature versus nurture ya know?" When it became clear that Shouyou's confusion hadn't faded, the older teen decided to elaborate. "You and Nacchan were raised the same way, but don't you have any major differences?"</p><p>Shouyou bowed his head and contorted his face in introspection. "Not really. Natsu and I are really similar. She acts pretty much the same way as I did at her age." His face brightened up, and he swivled his barstool around to face directly at Kenma. "You can be the tie breaker, Kenma! Do you have any siblings? What are they like?"</p><p>Kenma almost felt bad that he couldn't help Shouyou 'break the tie'. He shook his head. "I'm an only child." <em>And thank God for it</em>, he thought, <em>imagine my parents raising another fuck up.</em> But he thought on it a bit more and decided that maybe a second kid would've been better for his parents—they would have another child to fall back on.</p><p>"But that must be nice too," Shouyou gave a tentative smile. "I love Natsu, but it was kind of nice having all of my mom's attention, yeah? It must be pretty nice having all of the attention.</p><p>Kenma only stared in response. It was all he could do to stop himself from bursting out in ironic laughter.</p><p>"That's so mean, Chibi-chan," Atsumu taunted a smirk at Hinata. "I've never once imagined my life without Samu."</p><p>"Woah really? I thought everyone did that!" He shot a somewhat apologetic pleading face to Kenma. "I feel so selfish."</p><p>"Nah, I wouldn't take it that far." Atsumu waved a dismissive hand. "Samu is my only sibling and we grew up at the same time. It'd be like imagining life without one of your par—" Unfortunately, Atsumu cut himself off too late.</p><p>Kenma sneaked a glance at Shouyou for his reaction. The smile his friend gave was genuine, but it lacked the trademark sunshine.</p><p>"Nah, nah. You're okay!" His eyelids dropped slightly in fondness. "My mom makes sure we are never without!" Shouyou drifted his gaze to Kenma. "Sorry, I guess I haven't told you. I didn't mean to hold out, but guess it just wasn't the right time yet." He widened his grin to flash all his teeth. "I'm glad you know now!"</p><p>"It's good that you have your mom and sister." Kenma took a quick moment to mentally battle himself before his growing impulsive side dominated his words. "I may have both my parents, but despite being an only child, I often feel like I have none." He glanced up at Atsumu, not knowing what to expect, but still surprised to see unfiltered sympathy on his constantly snarky face. "My parents aren't bad. They both work hard running their business to make sure I have everything I need. They give me new games, consoles, and computers before I even ask. I go to a good expensive school in Tokyo, and my allowance is more than enough but—" Kenma cut himself off. <em>Spoiled brat; what do you have to complain about?</em> He didn't realize he was crying until Shouyou dropped a hand on his shoulder. He glanced up to meet Shouyou's compassionate eyes, unable to say anything else.</p><p>"But they couldn't give you what you needed most." Kenma turned to see Atsumu's extended hand offering a fox pattern printed handkerchief. When Kenma stared at him, frozen with an incredulous expression, he gently shook his wrist for Kenma to grasp his offering. As Kenma dabbed his eyes, the smirk returned to the twin's face. "Ya know, it was actually my brother's idea to start carrying those around. I thought it was silly, but he told me 'if you don't need it, someone else will'. I feel bad we got off to a bad start—actually I'm not really sure what went wrong—but if we get to know each other, we might even become friends."</p><p>"What do you want to be friends with me for?" Kenma's word choice left him feeling guilty; he intended to show curiosity. Rather, he couldn't help feeling like an ass for being hostile in response to such a kind gesture.</p><p>"Maybe we won't end up best buddies, but keeping enemies is too much work for me. We don't even know each other yet." He lifted his plans up as he shrugged.</p><p>Shaking his head, Kenma dropped his gaze to his lap. "There's no reason to bother." To his surprise, Atsumu laughed in response. Both Kenma and Shouyou pulled curious looks towards the waiter.</p><p>Atsumu wiped a tear of laughter from his eyes and forced his laughing into a stifle. "It's so funny, really. You're so much like my brother. You even decided to hate me before I did anything bad. This is so refreshing!"</p><p>"But Osamu-kun doesn't actually hate you, right?" Shouyou asked tentatively.</p><p>"Who knows?" Atsumu shook out the last bit of laughter before continuing. "But I love him more than anyone else on this earth. Don't tell him that, though! Can't have him thinking I'm soft."</p><p>Kenma felt that sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach again as he watched the way Shouyou sparkled from Atsumu's words.</p><p>"You're so amazing! It's so cool how you care for Osamu-kun. I'm really transparent with my feelings, so I'll never be that cool."</p><p>Internally rolling his eyes, Kenma considered using Atsumu's handkerchief to wipe the drool off Shouyou's face.</p><p>"You think too highly of me," Atsumu started. Kenma didn't think his body language matched his words. "I'm plenty transparent. I don't say it very often, but Samu knows exactly how much I care for him. The restaurant for example," he made a grand gesture as he spoke, "Samu didn't ask me to come here with him, but he knew I would tag along. He first asked our parents to rent the space for him two years ago, the summer before we started high school. He promised he'd pay them back with his earnings and the rest would go to future savings. I think it was the first time I've ever seen him so serious. When he started packing, I put my stuff in his bags too. We never discussed whether I would come or not; but I know he'd be anxious alone. Plus," the characteristic smirk returned to his face, "I'd rather spend my summers on the beach with my dear brother than alone in an empty house."</p><p>Kenma ducked his head and stared holes at his lap. It was obvious why Shouyou head-over-heels for this twin. He was tall, cool, and he had a warm heart. Kenma knew the bitterness he held for Atsumu was unjustified. He was a good kid with good intentions. When he lifted his head, he saw Shouyou basically falling at Atsumu's feet. It sickened him. He turned his head in the opposite direction and saw Osamu just in front of the kitchen's curtains. Kenma could tell in a glance that he heard Atsumu's story. He held a plate of freshly baked desert in each hand, and although his eyes were resting on the pastries, Kenma could see his mind was light years away.</p><p>He jolted under his skin when Osamu's tired eyes flicked up towards him. Kenma immediately diverted his gaze. Maybe Osamu thought he was a creep for staring, who cares?</p><p>"Took you long enough," Atsumu greeted his brother with a hint of vice, clearly unaware his twin overheard his heartfelt statements.</p><p>Osamu kept his head down as he approached the guests at the counter. He kept his face neutral and avoided any form of eye contact. He blatantly ignored his brother. Instead, he kept his eyes trained on the plates and addressed the younger teens. "I'm sorry it's not great. I don't make desserts very often."</p><p>With a mischievous smile, Atsumu peered over his brother's shoulder and lit up at the treats. "Strawberry tarts? Those look so good! You made some for me too, right?"</p><p>"No, I didn't." Osamu still avoided eye contact. It was impossible for Kenma to read his expression. "You don't like sweets." He finally turned around to look at Atsumu. "And no desert before dinner."</p><p>Meanwhile, Shouyou was lost in the fluff of cloud nine. His eyes twinkled with pleasure as he chowed on the tart. "You're a god, Osamu-sama!"</p><p>"Thank you." Osamu bowed politely at the compliment.</p><p>Kenma realized he was just holding the tart near his face. He could see the nerves leaking through Osamu's complacent expression. For a reason he couldn't place, Kenma suddenly remembered his new friend, Lev. Maybe this pressure to eat lived within him constantly. Without even having to look up, Kenma could feel all three sets of eyes honed in on him. His cheeks heated from embarrassment of being seen, but he took a bite out nonetheless.</p><p>If Kenma was being completely honest, he would say that he couldn't judge the quality of the pastry. It had been a long time since Kenma found any joy in food. Food was essentially tasteless to him. For Kenma, eating is a task that he has to do to function. Over time, he just stopped tasting food completely. Being present and mindful of whatever he ate took too much effort. It wasn't until he swallowed the bite and looked up to meet the eyes of Shouyou and the twins that Kenma realized he didn't taste the tart at all.</p><p>"Shouyou is right. You're really talented," he lied.</p><p>Hinata cheered as Atsumu rubbed his brother's shoulders. "See? You're too hard on yourself, Samu. Kozume even enjoyed it. Why don't you lighten up?"</p><p>"Thank you, Kozume."</p><p>Kenma's stomach actually dropped at Osamu's response. <em>He knows</em>, Kenma thought, <em>he knows I'm lying</em>. He tried to look apologetic when Osamu collected his plate, but their eyes didn't connect. He didn't know what to say. It wasn't like he could just say, <em>sorry I don't know how good your baking skills are because I can't fucking taste anything.</em></p><p>"The sous chef is the highest-ranking member of kitchen staff." Osamu said to nobody in particular. "Sweets are my worst category. Tsumu doesn't really eat them, so I have no reason to work on perfecting them." Kenma assumed the last bit was meant to be a jab at his brother, but it was missing the bite.</p><p>Atsumu frowned at his twin, hands resting on his hips. "Don't blame this on me! I've never not eaten anything you've made me!" His face twisted with growing anger when Osamu ignored him and began his retreat into the kitchen. "Hey!" He shouted, hands now balled in fists. "Listen when your big brother is talking to you!" He took a charged step forward as Osamu lowered the plates to a cart, bracing himself for a fight. "Osa—!"</p><p>Just as quickly as the scene escalated, the fight ended without a single punch being thrown. Atsumu was clearly already defeated, Kenma saw as he and Shouyou rose from their seats to see his surprised expression from the ground. Within seconds, the shock shifted to embarrassment, the leaking water dispenser from his serving station undeniably caused the puddle leading to his fall. Atsumu's flushed cheeks grew darker with every failed expression to pull himself up in the spill. His eyes darted to the younger teens at the counter, and Kenma could only think of a scared puppy.</p><p>Finally, Atsumu flipped his head up to his brother. His lips trembling the way humans always do before tears. Kenma watched him flinch in anticipation of his brother's taunt, only to end up ripping his pants with the most piercing tear sound Kenma has ever heard.</p><p>Shouyou ducked himself down in his seat, throwing his arms up to cover his eyes. Kenma watched Osamu run over to his twin so quickly, the cap flew off his head revealing the short silver locks of hair underneath. Without a moment's hesitation, Osamu threw his own apron over his brother and pulled him in close. When small sniffing sounds started to escape from the older twin, Osamu shot a pleading look at Kenma. It made his heart hurt.</p><p>Kenma gently pushed Shouyou's arm, still covering his face. Shouyou didn't lower his arms, but he twisted his neck to peer at his friend instead. "Let's get going," Kenma whispered. Shouyou nodded his head eagerly.</p><p>Hinata sighed in relief when Kenma shut the restaurant door behind them. The two started their retreat back in silence. It was small, but for the first time, Kenma felt tension between them. The residual embarrassment for Atsumu mingled with Kenma's dislike for the teen. He didn't understand why he let himself get so affected by another person, and someone he just met at that.</p><p>Kenma was brainstorming ways to keep those stupid meds out of his stomach when Shouyou pulled him out of his thoughts.</p><p>"You know... that's the first time I've ever seen those two be so nice to each other." He held a hand at his chin, looking with unfocused eyes. "It's kinda funny," His sunny smile returned to his face when he looked back at Kenma. "Atsumu swore he was so unbelievably different from Osamu-kun, but they're really just the same like me and Natsu!" He let out a short laugh, expelling all of the tension along with it. "They're always fighting and hate to admit how much they care for each other. Guess Osamu-kun ended up being our tiebreaker!" They walked a few beats in silence before Shouyou spoke up again. "I bet you and Kuroo-san are very similar too!"</p><p>His breath hitched as Kenma felt doves flap inside his chest. No, he was nothing like Kuroo. Kuroo is confident, and wise, and he proudly blasts his shitty music. Kenma was nothing like Kuroo at all, but for the first time, he realized he had family. Actual, real, caring, and understanding family. He clutched the fabric over his heart, unable to keep contact with Shouyou's beaming face. Perhaps, he thought hopefully, family just rub off on each other?</p><p>"Maybe... we'll see."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope I got most of the errors out!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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